ROTFL: Can has Cheeseburger?

[Jenova Silverstar]

Trial Six:

-Crack!-

"Ahahahahaha!"

Tenten sighed, watching yet another training dummy experience violent bisection, the sound of her friend's cackling laughter filling her ears. This
looked like being another rejection, for one very simple reason:

-Crackcrack!-

"Ahahahahahaaa!"

Naruto was having way too much fun with it.

Carefully timing her movements to stay in the whiskered one's blind spot, she paused, waiting for the right moment, before darting forward and quickly
snatching the grip from his loosened fingers.

"Hey, gimme!"

Calmly coiling the length of braided wire (and thanking her lucky stars for her growing resistance to the Eyes), she strode to a nearby rack of shelves,
atop which she deposited the weapon.

"Ten-chaaaaaan"¦" whimpered Naruto, gazing at the shelf with watery eyes and quivering lip.

"No, Naruto-kun." the bun-headed girl replied in a firm tone, gesturing at the fresh gouges in the walls and fragmented dummies. "You may
play with the Viper's Tongue when you are prepared to be responsible."

"Awwww."/ "Awwww."

Grudgingly following his friend, the blond cast one final yearning look at the Shelf before sullenly heading into the pole-arms section, quiet grumbling
echoing in his head.

"Hmph. Bet Shukaku or Nibi get to play with cool weapons of doom whenever they want. Stupid lack of corporeal form"¦"

Braided Ninja-Wire Bullwhip: Rejected (pending good behaviour)

--Oops! chapter 6

Neji's Birthday Present

Hyuuga Neji did not generally enjoy his birthday very much. Oh, he liked the concept well enough, make no mistake, and he made sure to remember
the birthdays of his friends and team-mates, but birthdays in the Hyuuga Compound tended to be solemn, quiet affairs. Serious, thoughtful gifts were given,
serious, thoughtful conversations were had with serious, thoughtful people and, on the whole, not much fun was had.

In his heart of hearts, Neji longed for the kind of birthday his friends had, with a party and laughter and silly (but well-chosen) gifts.

And cake. Can't forget the cake.

Sadly, the likelihood of something like that happening to him was, he knew, up there with the Hokage's pet founding an aerial attack force.

Which was why the note from Hinata, asking him to come to her team's training ground following the 'celebration' at home, intrigued him.
He'd heard of the "surprise party" phenomenon from Tenten and thought it a thoroughly captivating idea, but surely Fate wouldn't-

"SURPRISE!!!"

Staring at the shower of confetti, the streamers festooning the trees and the smiling faces of his friends (and the giant cake. Can't forget that),
the last of Neji's convictions on the immutability of Fate faded away. Ushered to a comfortable spot near the Cake, Neji woke from his happy daze to
behold the wrapped box being presented to him by a grinning Naruto.

Presents! He had Presents! Not history scrolls, not dry political texts, Presents! With colourful wrapping! And ribbons! Neji was almost too gobsmacked to
actually open them, but the gentle suggestion from Kurenai-sensei that once he opened them he could have Cake jerked him into action.

A bonsai oak from Naruto (who knew he had such a cultured hobby?). Titanium kunai from Tenten. A lucky cat statue and a "Get out of challenges for a
month" card from Gai-sensei and Lee. Two month's worth of free meal vouchers, from Team Ten's favourite restaurant, from Ino and Chouji
(apparently he was "too scrawny"). A book of 'magic eye' puzzles from Shikamaru (ha ha, very funny, Nara). Healing creams from Sakura and a
very rare jutsu scroll from the Uchiha clan library.

Coming down from present-induced euphoria, the young Hyuuga looked up to see all four members of Team Eight smiling at him.

"Kiba, Shino and I worked together on our gift, Neji-ni", said Hinata, stutter-free and with a hint of mischief. "If you like it, I'm
happy to cast it for you once per week", continued Kurenai, flicking through handseals. "Enjoy!"

There was a flash of light and Neji alone in a broad, grassy field. The warm sun shone down from a deep blue sky and a gentle breeze caressed his face,
fluttering his hair as it passed. It was certainly pleasant here, he thought, but how was it a-?

"Mew!"

Looking down toward his feet, Neji's eyes widened. His hands began to tremble. A blush rose on his face.

It was a kitten.

Not just a kitten, though. It was the smallest, fluffiest, cutest, most adorable black-kitten-with-one-white-paw that ever was, with the
big blue eyes, long whiskers and the most captivatingly clumsy movements that could possibly be imagined.

Gently picking up the fuzzy ball of feline cuteness, Neji snuggled it into his face, eyes closed in bliss. Surely there was no way this could
possibly get any-

"Mew."

"Mew." "Mew."

"Mew". "Mew!" "Mew". "Mew?"

Hinata smiled at the blissful look on her cousin's face as the genin and their teachers quietly departed, leaving Neji to bask in his gifts and
Cake.

Kiba nudged her with a grin.

"Told you he'd like it".

Ultimately, Neji reflected later, the "Kittenworld Paradise" genjutsu, specially commissioned by Team Eight, was the Greatest. Gift.
Ever.

--Tales of Oops! Chapter 1
(Omakes to Oops!)
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
--Dr. Seuss