Quote:'Lesson one: The strength of an angry kunoichi is exponentially proportional to their position, and geometrically proportional to whatever pissed them off. Thus, if you grope a Genin girl, it makes her as strong as Jonin temporarily, a Jonin beyond Kage level for leering. And if you ever meet a female Kage and manage to piss her off? Just slit your throat...it'll hurt less.
Lesson two: Never ever ask, "What can go wrong?" on a similar note never say "At least it can't get any worse" or any other phrase that makes you Murphy's bitch.
Lesson three: Never attempt an escort mission while drunk. (Ask Jin why he's technically a monk if you're wondering why) Come to think of it, don't get drunk on missions.
Lesson four: Never get involved in a catfight. Make sure at some point to use a mud jutsu though.
Lesson five: In a relationship, the woman is always right if you want to be happy.
Lesson six: Never ever, piss off a genjutsu user who knows your sexual preference.
Lesson seven: It's always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for.
Lesson eight: Be polite, be professional, and have a plan in place to kill everyone you meet.
Lesson nine: Don't be emo, that's for the 'prodigies'.
Lesson ten: Keep your friends close. They're the only ones who will keep you from going over the edge.
Lesson eleven: By the same token, enemies come in two categories: 'dead', and 'soon to be dead'.
Lesson twelve: Whatever doesn't kill you better be dead afterwards.
last advice to naruto from a deceased sensei
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4905158/8/Old_School
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
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If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.