I think I should expand on my previous comments. Again, listing off specific bands like that (with no reasons as to why they are mentioned by name) means
that liking that band is a key component to his sense of Self. Look at the section again:
The lead in to this is an explaination of his spirituality and explaination of his faith, his family, and his character is all around these lines. When he
names people they are very, very important to him... maybe minus the random cousin and future shaman... but he'll likely show up in the 'guy's
vacation' section. Just beforehand, he talks about like bicycles, then explains that he really likes the freedom of it. The feeling of flight (which also
ties into Rave being a major deity to him), that great American drive of personal freedom. Immediately afterwards he speaks of his own instrument of choice
(which now I'm sure will be mentioned at random times in the story)... the segways into his main hobby... one he has literally books full of designs...
mecha designs that are on an indivisual system level (probably with lots of 'black box' components) This and the bicycle are both lead ins to
Zeke's public claim to fame, he already has a media presents for saying Grampa Hino and not joining the cast of Gantz in the process.
However by being so specific with bands Your pullings a quartet of Chekov's guns on the reader... and while the Beatles are the Beatles (they had more fans
that Jesus did at once point, reportedly) and the Chili Peppers are easily written off as a band, one containing half naked hotties siging about lust that last
at least a decade as major players in the industry, that girl's at an all girl's school would have heard of and seen plastered on other girl's
walls. We are left with a minor band that is only two or three years old in modern times, Coldplay, and fourth band that I can't say I've heard of and
can cover the same issues by going after Coldplay. By naming only four bands... instead of say 20-50 we get the idea that these bands are important. By
naming 4 bands that are basically rock bands you make Zeke sound hollow and gain poser points on his annoying SI rating, for staying "A little bit of
everything" as his next line.
What this means is that the reader is now expecting these bands to play an important part in the story. Common effects of this are: A) As Zeke
sounds so shallow there my instinct is that the reader with be introduced to a running in story list of the writer's current playlist. Which means the
main character is dubbed Author's Avatar/Writer's Ranting Mouthpiece, at least for musical venures. B) The Character will break into
singing the songs at people in lew of actually writing dialouge. C) At some point the character will magically end up rocking out on stage
with said bands, with his above stated flute. D) Every character will instantly know every song by said bands or be 'treated' to a
'Why you love this band' speaches, then be converted... basically the story has a subplot of said band forcing the cast to love it and buy their
album(s). Turning a disjoined subplot into a background (hopefully), major subplot and making the story of heavy handed shipping plot for the band. That
I've literally heard DJs reading monotone speeches about the 'Awesome' that is Coldplay, complete with the band's history, on the air is going
to make this annoyance far more likely for me to expect. E) Filk chapters... if we are lucky the chapters will actually make some sense with the plot... if we
are rolling triple 20s on the luck checks, we will get a chapter that doesn't mangle the rest of the fic for that Filk to work as it makes some sense with
the plot.
Concidering, I've seen this crop up in many bad fics makes it a real concern to avoid. That I'm assossiated with this fic in the planning stage makes
this something I need to bring up. Now you don't have to strike that list entirely (though you can make it a point that he likes music and makes the
specifics vague) or you can vastly expand the list for bands and composers all over the map, including completely made up ones, possiblely with armslave themed
names.... but adding it in the middle of a small armory of Chekov's guns is asking for follow up.
Personally, the vocals in Coldplay and its other related bands killed it for me. Its painfully bad. The only song I haven't managed to block is
"Like a Stone" and that one could bore me to sleep mid sentence... literally.
that liking that band is a key component to his sense of Self. Look at the section again:
Quote: "I see." I
couldn't understand it. Why was he so interesting? "What are your hobbies?"
He smiled. "I love riding bicycles. The wind on my face is wonderful. I like music. I like Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Coldplay, Keane,
Beatles... A little bit of everything. I also like to play flute. My favorite is to study engineering."
The lead in to this is an explaination of his spirituality and explaination of his faith, his family, and his character is all around these lines. When he
names people they are very, very important to him... maybe minus the random cousin and future shaman... but he'll likely show up in the 'guy's
vacation' section. Just beforehand, he talks about like bicycles, then explains that he really likes the freedom of it. The feeling of flight (which also
ties into Rave being a major deity to him), that great American drive of personal freedom. Immediately afterwards he speaks of his own instrument of choice
(which now I'm sure will be mentioned at random times in the story)... the segways into his main hobby... one he has literally books full of designs...
mecha designs that are on an indivisual system level (probably with lots of 'black box' components) This and the bicycle are both lead ins to
Zeke's public claim to fame, he already has a media presents for saying Grampa Hino and not joining the cast of Gantz in the process.
However by being so specific with bands Your pullings a quartet of Chekov's guns on the reader... and while the Beatles are the Beatles (they had more fans
that Jesus did at once point, reportedly) and the Chili Peppers are easily written off as a band, one containing half naked hotties siging about lust that last
at least a decade as major players in the industry, that girl's at an all girl's school would have heard of and seen plastered on other girl's
walls. We are left with a minor band that is only two or three years old in modern times, Coldplay, and fourth band that I can't say I've heard of and
can cover the same issues by going after Coldplay. By naming only four bands... instead of say 20-50 we get the idea that these bands are important. By
naming 4 bands that are basically rock bands you make Zeke sound hollow and gain poser points on his annoying SI rating, for staying "A little bit of
everything" as his next line.
What this means is that the reader is now expecting these bands to play an important part in the story. Common effects of this are: A) As Zeke
sounds so shallow there my instinct is that the reader with be introduced to a running in story list of the writer's current playlist. Which means the
main character is dubbed Author's Avatar/Writer's Ranting Mouthpiece, at least for musical venures. B) The Character will break into
singing the songs at people in lew of actually writing dialouge. C) At some point the character will magically end up rocking out on stage
with said bands, with his above stated flute. D) Every character will instantly know every song by said bands or be 'treated' to a
'Why you love this band' speaches, then be converted... basically the story has a subplot of said band forcing the cast to love it and buy their
album(s). Turning a disjoined subplot into a background (hopefully), major subplot and making the story of heavy handed shipping plot for the band. That
I've literally heard DJs reading monotone speeches about the 'Awesome' that is Coldplay, complete with the band's history, on the air is going
to make this annoyance far more likely for me to expect. E) Filk chapters... if we are lucky the chapters will actually make some sense with the plot... if we
are rolling triple 20s on the luck checks, we will get a chapter that doesn't mangle the rest of the fic for that Filk to work as it makes some sense with
the plot.
Concidering, I've seen this crop up in many bad fics makes it a real concern to avoid. That I'm assossiated with this fic in the planning stage makes
this something I need to bring up. Now you don't have to strike that list entirely (though you can make it a point that he likes music and makes the
specifics vague) or you can vastly expand the list for bands and composers all over the map, including completely made up ones, possiblely with armslave themed
names.... but adding it in the middle of a small armory of Chekov's guns is asking for follow up.
Personally, the vocals in Coldplay and its other related bands killed it for me. Its painfully bad. The only song I haven't managed to block is
"Like a Stone" and that one could bore me to sleep mid sentence... literally.