[draft] DSKSWDYHMS? - Chapter 2

[Black Aeronaut]

paladindythe wrote:

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It was a little bit difficult for me to picture Zeke giving his two speeches. The content is good, I'm just not sure if Zeke's switching tones in the
middle of them:

I shrugged. "Mage, engineer, warrior? Maybe all three? Maybe just one, but definitely not none. I can't say
just yet. I'm still developing. I know that I am unique in both sides of my families, and that is part of why my Grandpa Bear, my Mother's Father,
said that I must find my own path, even if I have to blaze one of my own."

Is he dismissive or thoughtful here? (or does he switch from one to the other?)

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"I have every right to say that," I snapped back. "When I was four years old, my mother died in an
automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. My world fell apart on that day and I learned the bitter taste of death. But then my grandfather taught me of
Raven and I learned once more about the almost unbearable sweetness of life and how good it is. I miss my mother horribly, but my memories of her are among
my most treasured. Don't even think to say that I have no right to speak of life and death and how both are essential for balance."

Is Zeke snapping for the whole speech here? Or does he catch himself, switching to lecturing, and then back to snapping at the end?

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Just wanted to point out a couple of things that seemed to need a bit of polishing.


Otherwise, your piece was excellent.

Paladin, thanks for pointing this out to me.

For the first speech you referenced, Zeke's tone is one of honestly professed ignorance, which quickly shifts to a mini-rant - he knows that he's
supposed to be something special, he's just not sure how and, to be frank, he finds it somewhat annoying.

As for the second speech, at first he is snapping, but then once he gets into details about his past it turns into empassioned lecturing, with a touch of anger
at their presumption towards the end.

I hope that clears it up for you and I'll get these fixed up for the final that I'll post to FF.net.

Necratoid wrote:

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Actually, having him flip out about being 'stereotyped' as Batman would be a good way to have his iconoclastic nature of hating to be able to fit
into a classification box shine through and make a certain observation based freak out in the future more satisfying as we have a precedent.

Heh-heh. Yeah, this thought actually occurred to me. I think we can expect more Batman references in the chapters to come, followed eventually
by a meltdown where Zeke is delivering a 1st Class beat down to the tune of, "How! Many! Times! Do! I! Gotta! Say! I'm! Not! Sprockin'!
BATMAN!"

Necratoid wrote:

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I think what happened is Western mindset meet Japanese mindset designed glamour. The Japanese are trained to pretend that didn't happen and wander off,
thus fooling them is a matter of making them not want to get involved. The American, and more specifically DnD players mind set is to stare at it and
disbelieve the weirdness to confirm that actually happened. Considering that The Thunder dragon attack (which is what she is likely using there) involves
Jupiter getting hit in the face, that lightning rod on her tiara specifically, with a lightning bolt and then channeling it at the target. I don't know
about you but seeing my saviour taser herself from on high is something I'd take a round to disbelieve. Also considering that Usagi pimp slapped time
backwards a year and deleveled them all, added to the stated glamour making them older and more glamorous... (Arbitrary numbers attack!) its probably a DC 16
or DC 18 will save at this point. Factor in that Kubiac knows her, like her and her cooking, and that he has like 8 or 9 levels and all positive stat
modifiers... He has a 60-40 chance of breaking the glamour and spent 2 rounds doing so. That she showed up with Zeke in tow didn't hurt either.

Cool! I never thought of it that way, and it makes complete sense. I think that what may happen later on is that the 'Think Tank' of
Zeke, Ami, and (secretly) Kubiac will have a deep discussion about this affect and how they can fix it. After all, there's more than a few Americans in
Japan these days, so it'd behoove them to fix this problem.