"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
- Calvin and Hobbes
"The path of least resistance will seldom lead you beyond your doorstep."
"Those scared of the dark have never seen what the light can do"
"First blood isn't as important as last blood."
- Magic: The Gathering flavor text
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
Growing old is manditory. Growing up is optional.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Someone has to finish last in medical school, how do you know it's not your doctor?
He's a legend in his own mind...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
If someone plays the bagpipes well, how can you tell?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Last time I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken, I got a 10 piece. When I put it together it turned out to be a cat.
Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951.
100 years ago they called 100 white men chasing 1 black man a lynching... Now they call it the PGA Tour...
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
- Calvin and Hobbes
"The path of least resistance will seldom lead you beyond your doorstep."
"Those scared of the dark have never seen what the light can do"
"First blood isn't as important as last blood."
- Magic: The Gathering flavor text
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
Growing old is manditory. Growing up is optional.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Someone has to finish last in medical school, how do you know it's not your doctor?
He's a legend in his own mind...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
If someone plays the bagpipes well, how can you tell?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Last time I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken, I got a 10 piece. When I put it together it turned out to be a cat.
Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951.
100 years ago they called 100 white men chasing 1 black man a lynching... Now they call it the PGA Tour...
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin