"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Lily Tomlin
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright
"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
"I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here." - As seen on a t-shirt
Purranoia: the fear that your cats are plotting against you
"I don't really trust a sane person." - Lyle Alzado
"Talking about partial nuclear disarmament is like talking about partial circumcision. You either go all the way or forget it!" - Robin Williams
"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." - Albert Einstein
"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is
winning." - Albert Einstein
The Duckbilled Platapus, proof that even God gets stoned every once in a while.
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
"You do not make history. You can only hope to survive it." - G'Kar (Babylon 5)
Light travels faster than sound, that is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Golf is the only sport where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad doing it.
Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
We put the 'fun' in disfunctional.
Some of you know me already ... those would be the ones readying weapons.
Don't you wish you could turn up the intelligence on your TV sometimes? They've got one dial marked brightness, but that don't work.
"For many years I have tried to visit your fair city, BUT YOU HAVE ALWAYS SHOOTED AT ME!" - Don Karnage (Tailspin)
"Best defense - is not be there." - P. Morita
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright
"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
"I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here." - As seen on a t-shirt
Purranoia: the fear that your cats are plotting against you
"I don't really trust a sane person." - Lyle Alzado
"Talking about partial nuclear disarmament is like talking about partial circumcision. You either go all the way or forget it!" - Robin Williams
"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." - Albert Einstein
"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is
winning." - Albert Einstein
The Duckbilled Platapus, proof that even God gets stoned every once in a while.
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
"You do not make history. You can only hope to survive it." - G'Kar (Babylon 5)
Light travels faster than sound, that is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Golf is the only sport where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad doing it.
Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
We put the 'fun' in disfunctional.
Some of you know me already ... those would be the ones readying weapons.
Don't you wish you could turn up the intelligence on your TV sometimes? They've got one dial marked brightness, but that don't work.
"For many years I have tried to visit your fair city, BUT YOU HAVE ALWAYS SHOOTED AT ME!" - Don Karnage (Tailspin)
"Best defense - is not be there." - P. Morita
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin