I must admit, I had reservations on using Lum as one of the nakama/harem. You've put those concerns to rest.
To put it another way: this rocks!
A couple of thoughts (and to keep me from pointing out editing errors): this is the first time mentioning Zeke's 'chosen' status, and it rather
came out of the blue. It may be worthwhile to foreshadow a bit by having Zeke internally express his concerns (in a spoiler-free manner) before expressing
them to Rei. Also, you've implied that at least one person has left him after Zeke revealed his tattoos some time in his past (and that would fit into
habitually keeping a bit of space between people). Here's what I'm wondering: since Teletha Testarossa knew him a bit as kids, does she know about
this? A whole bunch of possibilities there.
Well, enough of that. You've done good here, and I eagerly await more.
To put it another way: this rocks!
A couple of thoughts (and to keep me from pointing out editing errors): this is the first time mentioning Zeke's 'chosen' status, and it rather
came out of the blue. It may be worthwhile to foreshadow a bit by having Zeke internally express his concerns (in a spoiler-free manner) before expressing
them to Rei. Also, you've implied that at least one person has left him after Zeke revealed his tattoos some time in his past (and that would fit into
habitually keeping a bit of space between people). Here's what I'm wondering: since Teletha Testarossa knew him a bit as kids, does she know about
this? A whole bunch of possibilities there.
Well, enough of that. You've done good here, and I eagerly await more.