ROTFL: MAO!

[SCM Writer of 2814]

From Endless Dream:

Lancer opened the fridge.

"..."

Kotomine Kirei stared at Lancer. For the past ten minutes he had been looking through the pantry, cupboards, and now the fridge.

"..." Lancer turned and stared at him. "Hey, you." He pointed at Kirei, "We're out of milk, bread, ham, and pocky."

"...why is the pocky important?"

"Hey, I've grown to like it."

So sue me, I think pocky is funny...

"The Master isn't a threat." Rin pointed out, "The Servant is."
"Good point." Archer appeared in corporal form, "Though I kind of stand out."
Rin shrugged, "If anyone asks, you're into cosplay." She grinned.
"..." Archer glared at her.

"Hello." Archer said, waving.
"...hello." Saber narrowed her eyes.
"Rin told me to keep an eye on you." Archer sat down on a bench.
They were across the street from the school.
"Is that all?" Saber asked.
"Yes,
that's all." Archer rolled his eyes, "Oh, wait, I'm secretly planning
to attack you. In broad daylight. In front of a school. While sitting
on a bench. You got me Saber, you're a sharp one."
Saber sighed, "Fine." She sat down next to him.
Several minutes of silence followed.
"Soooooo..." Archer said, "How're things with Shirou?"
"Oh, they're fine." Saber said, "And you with Rin?"
"Peachy."
"I see."
More silence.
Then Lancer walked past them, a McDonalds bag in his left hand.
"...what?" Archer asked.
"Huh?" Lancer looked to the side, "Oh, hi Saber!" He waved. "...and Archer." He said much more dourly.
"Um, Lancer, what are you doing?" Saber was beginning to wonder if the entire Holy Grail War was showing up at this school.
"I wanted breakfast. So I got an Egg McMuffin." Lancer answered honestly.
"..." Saber stared.
"..." Archer stared
"What?"

Shirou walked out of the school, the day had been ordinary. All that remained was to see if Saber was...
"...what?" Shirou stared.
Saber,
Archer, and Lancer were sitting on a bench across the street. A literal
pile of garbage; Bags, food wrappers, paper cups, bottles, sat around
them.
They were currently eating pizza.
"This is good!" Saber took a bite of it.
"I think I had something like this one time I was bumming around in Rome." Lancer grinned.
"Pizza was invented in Italy, which is where the Roman Empire once stood." Archer picked up a slice.
"I knew the bastards would be shut down one day!" Lancer laughed.
"..." Shirou decided he must be dreaming. That was the only logical explanation for this.
"Archer..."
Rin stood behind him.
Yup, a dream.
"What the hell are you doing!"
"..I'm eating pizza." Archer said.
No,
wait, scratch that. Shirou remembered that he only dreams of swords,
fire, and the occasional weird flashback since getting Saber. So this
is real.
"Somehow that makes it worse." Shirou sighed.
"Oh hey, your Masters are here." Lancer waved, "Hey Miss, hey Kid, what's up?"
"..." Rin's eye twitched, "Archer, why is Lancer here?"
"He was getting lunch."
"...and then?"
"Well,
he started going off to buy us food. But then we got hungry again, and
so he went off to get more and eventually we just ended up trying every
food we could." Saber explained.
"It makes perfect sense." Shirou said. "Well, OK, not really."
"Why,
God, did you curse me with this?" Rin asked the heavens. "Is it because
I practice magic while still going to church once in a while? Is that
it? Do I offend you?"

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I am the LORD OF THE CRACK!
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