ROTFL: MAO!

[yesilmavi]

Naruto. The following part is of an escort mission.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3567934/14/ ... _Ascendant
Its an adventure/romance fic.

Temari for lack of a better term was bored… bored out of her mind. The young Suna kunoichi was currently sitting quietly in the corner of the private dining room, eating her meal while observing three nobles doing the same in the center of the room. Her assignment to this mission was a bit of a fluke.

The requested escort mission had required kunoichi to assist in the protection of the Wind Daimyo's wife in more intimate settings, such as while she bathed and rested in her quarters. But due to the nature of the intense and brutal training instituted by the Kazekage, her 'loving father' or the heartless bastard depending on if she was feeling sarcastic or not, to increase the quality of Suna's individual ninja, Suna kunoichi were few and far between.

Thus Temari, a mere genin, found herself temporarily reassigned to a more experienced team as Kankuro's crass nature and Gaara's bloodlust made them ill suited for diplomatic escort duty. While she was enjoying the respite from the constant tension that naturally came from being in close quarters with her brothers, she was beginning to feel rather lonely.

Her fellow Suna shinobi on this assignment were polite enough but had been acting rather distant around her. She assumed that this treatment had to do with her relation to Gaara as being related to what many considered to be the 'Scourge of Suna' tended to have a negative impact on one's social life.

While she was used to feeling somewhat alienated from her fellow ninja, she usually had Kankuro or Baki-sensei around to commiserate with. But eight days into this mission, the pretentious and stilted conversations were beginning to wear on her. Hence the boredom and the slight irritation that she couldn't seem to shake.

This meal was just one of many that she had been forced to silently sit through as they had made their way towards Fire Country. This particular restaurant was rather nice, the atmosphere pleasant without being overly pretentious. As seemed to be the custom, the nobles had been provided with a private dining room in which to hold their discussions.

The layout was fairly straight-forward: the main table sat in the center of the dining room with individual tables situated in each of the room's corners. At each of the individual tables sat a ninja, two from Konoha and two from Suna. These tables were canted towards the center of the room so that the ninja would be well positioned to observe their charges as well as the opposing shinobi. Two samurai also sat behind their charges, abstaining from the meal while seeming to meditate silently.

Overall, the set up made for a rather dull meal, as she was too far from any of the others, especially any of the other ninja, to even consider having a conversation. Not that it would have made much difference in any case. Her fellow Suna kunoichi, a relatively young chuunin, had made it clear throughout the mission that she had little interest in conversation. The pink-haired kunoichi directly across the room seemed a bit too concerned about her looks and one of her teammates to be a descent conversationalist in any event.

Glancing towards the other Konoha shinobi caused her irritation to rise. Prior to the first meeting between the Wind and Fire Country nobles, she had been briefed on the Konoha ninja team that had been assigned to the mission. The only two that had been assigned a name had been Hatake Kakashi, the renowned Copy-nin, and Uchiha Sasuke, the last scion of the Uchiha Clan.

The other two team members had simply been noted as clanless ninja of little talent or consequence. Given that note and her confirming observations about the pink-haired kunoichi, Temari had been inclined to dismiss the blonde as a non-entity, especially after seeing him standing beside his dark-haired teammate. While cute, he did not look particularly strong or intimidating and always seemed to have a smile plastered across his face. He was the very picture of a cheerful idiot.

As the day continued, Temari was forced to admit that her initial assessment might have been a bit premature. At first, her attention had focused on him as she had spotted a couple of solid blonde bunshins circling their group as the toured the city.

After about a half hour of discreet observation, the Suna kunoichi was willing to admit to herself that there was simply something about him that made her feel a bit uneasy. It wasn't the overwhelming killing intent of her brother or the easy assurance of Baki-sensei or some other jounin. But there was something… just beyond her senses that warned her against dismissing the blonde.

Taking in her observations and knowing that her father was planning for her team to attend Konoha's Chuunin Exam in the coming months, the blonde kunoichi decided that this was the perfect opportunity to see if all those seduction classes she had been forced to attend in the academy had been worth her time.

While it was a bit of a snap decision, she had no plans of taking it too far and she may gain a bit of insight into Konoha and the opponents that her team could face in the upcoming Chuunin Exams. Besides, he was cute and it would be an amusing training exercise to entrap the Konoha shinobi within her web, only to crush his illusions later on.

And so, she attempted to capture his interest... attempted being the operative word. A couple of lingering glances and shy smiles made no impression on the blonde shinobi as far as she could tell… Three attempts at conversation had also been brushed aside. It wasn't long before Temari's ire towards the blonde shinobi begun to rise in spectacular fashion at having been passed over so casually.

While Suna ninja and villagers alike would give her a wide berth due to her relation to Gaara, she had received a number of appreciative glances and even some invitations to dinner while in the field. She would never admit it to anyone, but the fact that he had simply ignored her without even a second glance stung her ego quite a bit.

Glancing towards the Leaf shinobi sitting in the corner to her right caused her determination to harden, despite her irritation.

Shifting her kimono, Temari situated herself in such a way as to accentuate her form to maximum effect beneath her formal clothing. Arching her back and placing a slight smile on her face, she waited for him to notice. She couldn't help but observe him eating the ramen that he had specifically requested the staff of the restaurant to prepare. It seemed a bit strange to come to a restaurant such as the one they were sitting in and request a dish that could be acquired in just about any street side stand.

She had nothing against the dish itself. In fact, she was known to enjoy ramen quite often in Suna, especially during the cooler months of the year. The problem was that he seemed to be devoting his whole attention to the dish in front of him. Temari was beginning to grow impatient, but soothed her irritation by telling herself that he would finish sooner or later and then her fun would begin.

And then came the moment of truth… Having finished his bowl, he glanced around the room, first focusing on the nobles' table, then shifting his attention towards each of the room's other occupants. The level of attention that was paid to her was neither more nor less than he paid to any other person in the room.

After taking a deep, but inaudible breath; she ignored this additional blow to her self-esteem for the moment. Well aware that she was attractive, the Suna kunoichi quickly determined that the problem must lie with him. 'Either he is gay or one of densest men on the planet… Either way, I'll teach the bastard not to ignore a Suna kunoichi…' Shifting her kimono again to reveal an almost indecent amount of skin, even compared to her normal attire, she coughed softly, drawing his attention once more.

He sat staring at her, his mouth slightly agape. Smiling sweetly at him, Temari observed the server bring out the Konoha shinobi's second helping of ramen and setting it before him. 'Perfect. This will teach him to pass me over.' While continuing to smile at him, Temari made a rather rash decision, especially considering the foreign ninja and samurai in the immediate area, and prepared to use her second favorite weapon, obviously after her fan.

Of the three basic shinobi weapons, only one appealed to Temari. Shuriken relied upon their rotation and sharpened edges to tear into their targets. Kunai are often used to slash or stab an opponent during combat. Both relied primarily on blunt trauma and were extremely messy.

Senbon needles, on the other hand, were a different story altogether. A single senbon directed to a precise location of the body could be more effective than a host of shuriken or kunai. When in the hands of a master, senbon needles were elegant, precise, and effective. 'What more could a girl desire in a weapon?'

While this had not been her original intention, this should serve as an object lesson for the dense shinobi to not ignore an attractive girl. With this last thought, Temari unleashed a single senbon needle towards the ceiling of the restaurant. The needle impacted with and was deflected by one of the light fixtures there. It resumed it journey on a downward trajectory towards where the blonde shinobi was sitting.

The senbon needle hit its target, which happened to be the newly delivered bowl of ramen. Due to the needle having impacted the upper lip of bowl's interior, the senbon's impact caused the bowl's steaming contents to be upended into the blonde shinobi's lap. This was followed shortly by a bout of swearing by the blonde ninja as he stood abruptly in an attempt to remove the near scalding liquid from his skin.

This spectacle was greeted by a flurry of movement from the restaurant's staff, inaudible murmurs from the nobles, and stony silence from the room's guardians. The blonde shinobi flushed in both anger and embarrassment as he attempted to clean his kimono with some napkins. After he settled down, the blonde ninja sent Temari a scathing look, to which she responded to with a small wave.

A few minutes after the ramen incident, Temari's battle fan, which had been unobtrusively resting immediately behind her in the corner of the room, suddenly fell towards her without apparent cause. The fan impacted Temari's right shoulder before continuing forward, eventually upsetting the small table in front of her, causing its contents to be catapulted in her direction.

Temari's eyes closed as a reflex and she gasped in shock. Luckily, Temari had almost completed her meal, but she was still reluctant to examine the damage that had been done to her formal outfit. Slowly, she opened her eyes and found that she was covered in the remains of her tea and had pieces of rice scattered all over her.

Seeing that she was now the center of attention, she apologized profusely to the nobles in the room for the disruption and slowly began to clean herself up. While she was doing this, she happened to glance towards the blonde shinobi again. She found him waving at her, grinning like an idiot. She immediately comprehended that he was responsible for the previous incident.

'But how did he do it?' she thought as her face reddened with anger. Suddenly, the answer occurred to her, 'Chakra strings.' Her response to this realization and his insufferable smirk was to throw to series of senbon needles that managed to pin one of the shinobi's arms to the wall behind him. She shortly followed this up by hitting him between the eyes with one of the rice balls that had survived from her meal. Temari managed to dodge the rice ball that the blonde returned with his off hand as he released his arm from the wall.

Both of the ninjas were rising to their feet, when they finally noticed the intense silence that had descended upon the room's other guests. Glancing around at the incredulous looks they were receiving from the nobles, the samurai, and their fellow ninja, both blondes flushed scarlet and bowed their heads sheepishly. There really was nothing to say about being caught engaging in a food fight during an important diplomatic meeting.

After a moment, the Fire Daimyo's daughter broke down and started laughing hysterically at the whole scene. The more sedate laughter of the two older noblewomen soon joined that of the younger girl. As they made to resume their meal, the Fire Daimyo's wife wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and stated, "Had I known that ninja were capable of such entertainment, I would have insisted on a ninja escort years ago."