You're right in that the last paragraph needs some work. If you want to keep things slow, add in some emotional indicators EMIYA would notice, and give each of the gang their piece. If things are moving fast, then give really, really brief mentions, and jump to the improtant bit, the cautious group and annoyed Lina.
(You're trying to relate his point of view, yes? Let the time spent reading reflect the time EMIYA has to grasp the situation.)
(You're trying to relate his point of view, yes? Let the time spent reading reflect the time EMIYA has to grasp the situation.)