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So the fic bug's bitten me again
 
#3
Interesting, though it feels like a trailer more than anything else.

May I suggest making the line "Once more, we've danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, and we taught that bastard how to tango." its own paragraph? I think it would have added impact and weight that way, rather than at the end of a long one. Maybe stick it between the final two stanzas of the song.
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Messages In This Thread
So the fic bug's bitten me again - by Wolff - 10-03-2010, 08:30 AM
[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-04-2010, 01:43 PM
[No subject] - by HoagieOfDoom - 10-04-2010, 07:53 PM
[No subject] - by SkyeFire - 10-05-2010, 05:35 AM
[No subject] - by Wolff - 10-05-2010, 05:44 AM
[No subject] - by Wolff - 10-11-2010, 11:25 AM

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