blackaeronaut Wrote:Thanks.Jorlem Wrote:Ah, sorry. I think that part of the problem I had with the power levels might have been because I'm seeing this in a planning forum, not in the story itself. That is, I'm seeing what you plan as the end result, and not the progression you intend to get there. Also, when I read the word 'Avatar', a part of me makes a sort of mental jump to Aang's avatar state, which I shouldn't be doing. I had enjoyed the chapters that you had written previously, and thought the power levels shown in story were ok, from what I recall. It was what was discussed in the comments that rang a few of my alarm bells IIRC.It's okay. Every now and then we all wind up doing something like that.
Also, if Zeke is a Whispered, then I can see that being a decent source of conflict with the UEC once it is revealed. Something along the lines of "If you hadn't been born a Whispered, I would have been the one that Raven would have picked!" Heck, this could be what drives him all the way to fully joining with Amalgam.
Anyway, sorry.
Whispered status helping to provoke a bad reaction? Not a bad idea. Just have to be careful about running afoul of that cheesy 'I'll Show Them All!' trope - it's good in a comedy, but otherwise iffy.
I was thinking more along the lines of a combination of anger and jealousy, since it could seem that everything is being handed to Zeke, as he didn't need to work to become a Whispered, and was chosen as Raven's avatar at birth. While Zeke has to work to learn to use his powers correctly, as a Whispered he is naturally gifted in the sciences and math (in addition to the Black technology and telepathy), so I can see someone like the UEC getting jealous of how hard he needs to work just to keep up. I'm sure there are tropes for these things, but I can' remember the names.
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Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.