Dead Bang chapter 7

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Dead Bang chapter 7

Sweno

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Posts: 2,354
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Joined: Jul 2005
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#21

05-04-2011, 11:36 PM

Does 'more please' count as an idea? Smile

I like it.

The only thing that confused me at first is that I wasn't able to figure out if the three kids or the larger gang is the one breaking into the store.

This was cleared up once the pre-fight banter happened, but it was still a little confusing.

If you mention (roughly) the number of gang members there are when the boomer first notices them, it would prevent the confusion.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

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Messages In This Thread

Dead Bang chapter 7 - by Dragonflight - 05-02-2011, 11:23 PM

[No subject] - by Glidergun - 05-03-2011, 12:07 AM

[No subject] - by HoagieOfDoom - 05-03-2011, 12:39 AM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-03-2011, 12:51 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-03-2011, 02:02 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-03-2011, 02:56 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-03-2011, 03:17 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-03-2011, 03:20 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-03-2011, 03:23 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-03-2011, 03:25 AM

[No subject] - by HoagieOfDoom - 05-03-2011, 04:43 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-03-2011, 06:09 AM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-03-2011, 11:22 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-04-2011, 05:35 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-04-2011, 03:14 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-04-2011, 03:32 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-04-2011, 03:33 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-04-2011, 03:51 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-04-2011, 06:22 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-04-2011, 11:18 PM

[No subject] - by sweno - 05-04-2011, 11:36 PM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-05-2011, 01:44 AM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-05-2011, 04:42 AM

[No subject] - by Foxboy - 05-05-2011, 07:52 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-05-2011, 09:18 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-05-2011, 02:12 PM

[No subject] - by Rod.H - 05-05-2011, 02:54 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-05-2011, 05:48 PM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-06-2011, 06:40 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-06-2011, 07:20 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-06-2011, 03:20 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-07-2011, 06:10 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-07-2011, 07:26 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-07-2011, 04:16 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-07-2011, 06:50 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-08-2011, 03:57 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-09-2011, 03:40 AM

[No subject] - by Ebony - 05-09-2011, 05:38 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-09-2011, 07:50 PM

[No subject] - by sweno - 05-09-2011, 10:54 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-09-2011, 11:41 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-10-2011, 01:00 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-10-2011, 02:41 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-10-2011, 03:22 AM

[No subject] - by CattyNebulart - 05-10-2011, 04:26 AM

[No subject] - by Epsilon - 05-10-2011, 06:15 AM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-10-2011, 06:27 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-10-2011, 07:38 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-10-2011, 07:43 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-10-2011, 07:57 AM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-10-2011, 04:21 PM

[No subject] - by Glidergun - 05-10-2011, 09:53 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-10-2011, 10:38 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-11-2011, 09:56 AM

[No subject] - by s3yang - 05-11-2011, 07:12 PM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-11-2011, 07:38 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-11-2011, 10:25 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-12-2011, 01:11 AM

[No subject] - by happerry - 05-12-2011, 04:15 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-12-2011, 11:42 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-13-2011, 01:44 AM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-13-2011, 07:24 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-13-2011, 03:24 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-13-2011, 06:55 PM

[No subject] - by Dartz - 05-13-2011, 07:34 PM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-13-2011, 10:02 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-13-2011, 11:08 PM

[No subject] - by Glidergun - 05-13-2011, 11:54 PM

[No subject] - by Ebony - 05-14-2011, 12:27 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-14-2011, 01:11 AM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-14-2011, 01:30 AM

[No subject] - by Glidergun - 05-14-2011, 01:38 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-14-2011, 02:31 AM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-14-2011, 03:27 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-14-2011, 06:23 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-14-2011, 07:11 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-14-2011, 08:05 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-14-2011, 10:01 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-15-2011, 08:20 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-15-2011, 08:31 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-15-2011, 09:14 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-16-2011, 04:03 AM

[No subject] - by Norgarth - 05-16-2011, 06:40 AM

[No subject] - by itsune9tl - 05-16-2011, 08:59 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-16-2011, 10:55 PM

[No subject] - by Ebony - 05-16-2011, 11:59 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-17-2011, 12:33 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-17-2011, 12:45 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-17-2011, 05:21 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-18-2011, 04:40 AM

[No subject] - by Ebony - 05-18-2011, 03:25 PM

[No subject] - by Proginoskes - 05-18-2011, 11:42 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-24-2011, 06:53 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-24-2011, 07:17 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-25-2011, 04:08 AM

[No subject] - by ECSNorway - 05-25-2011, 10:43 PM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-25-2011, 11:49 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-26-2011, 06:00 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-26-2011, 08:20 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-26-2011, 08:59 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-29-2011, 04:33 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-30-2011, 04:06 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-31-2011, 12:25 AM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-31-2011, 02:10 AM

[No subject] - by CattyNebulart - 05-31-2011, 02:41 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 05-31-2011, 02:59 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-31-2011, 06:36 AM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-31-2011, 09:02 AM

[No subject] - by Necratoid - 05-31-2011, 09:54 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 05-31-2011, 11:11 PM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 06-06-2011, 12:20 AM

[No subject] - by Inquisitive Raven - 06-07-2011, 01:19 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-07-2011, 04:52 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 06-07-2011, 07:19 PM

[No subject] - by Valles - 06-08-2011, 12:43 AM

Re: Twisted Path - by aeroprime - 06-08-2011, 09:56 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-08-2011, 02:26 PM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 06-09-2011, 01:48 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 06-16-2011, 11:59 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 06-17-2011, 12:06 AM

[No subject] - by Disruptor - 06-17-2011, 12:58 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 06-17-2011, 02:07 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 07-04-2011, 09:21 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 07-05-2011, 02:44 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 07-05-2011, 02:53 PM

[No subject] - by Deadpan29 - 07-09-2011, 06:17 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 07-10-2011, 04:18 AM

[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 07-20-2011, 12:52 AM

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