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I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl
 
from Clell65619's bio page on ff.net:
Quote:On the Technomage front, here's a preview of a bit of Harry's visit with Neville at the end of the summer before 3rd year. It's after their birthdays, and Neville has taken to the potions tutor his grandmother found for him... Said tutor seems somehow familiar to Harry, but he can't quite put his finger on where he's seen the man before. As a sort of tribute to our man Neville from the last HP Movie, here is Harry getting shown around Longbottom Hall...

…-===ooo000ooo===-…

"What is this?" Harry asked as he stood back to stare at the huge ornate bronze bell, complete with a pair of life sized apparently clockwork iron trolls standing on either side with hammers at the ready.

"Hmm?" Neville asked as he turned to see what Harry was looking at. "Oh, that's the Doom Bell."

"Doom Bell?" Harry repeated looking at the great bronze casting suspiciously. "As in Doctor Doom?"

"Who?" Neville asked, with a confused expression. "Never heard of him. Why would a Muggle Healer need a bell?"

"Different kind of Doctor, and as far as I know he doesn't need a bell," Harry laughed. "Ok, why does the Longbottom family have a bell?"

"The Doom Bell rings when the Longbottoms go to war. Its a kind of warning, you know? Somehow the Doom Bell is charmed so that every Witch and Wizard in Britain can hear it and know what is coming at them."

Harry turned slowly to stare at this friend. "You're messing with me."

"Don't judge the family by what you know of me Harry. The Longbottoms are to Magical Britain what Franklin's family is to New York," Neville smiled, "though maybe with a bit less property damage."

Harry blinked, "you're serious?"

"Hell, yes. The Longbottoms are a serious clan, we've been involved in every major conflict Magical Britain has had, and a few Muggle ones as well. Someday I might end up having to put on the Cardie, and then the Bell will toll for me."

"The Cardie?"

"Yeah, it's over here," Neville led the way to a glass case where on a human form manikin was a black and grey cardigan. Harry took in the obvious ancient garment with a look of surprise, especially after he realized that the pattern in the woolen fabric was made up of runic arrays. "This is it, the traditional Longbottom clan War Cardigan."

Neville took in Harry's expression of incredulity with a smile. "The case is charmed so that no human can open it. Only an elf, and even then, only one certain elf at a time. He brings the Cardie to the current Longbottom of Longbottom and as soon as it is worn, the Doom Bell rings. Grandad always said that was to let the Devil know that he was going to have company, and lots of it." Neville sighed. "Sometimes I really miss Grandad. Come on, we don't want to be late for potions.".

i find the idea of a "war cardigan" (and an ancient one, at that) to be hilarious.... nice use of hemmingway, too
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
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