I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl

[robkelk]

Well, I'm running a bit behind.

Shadowjack has watched Episode 117...

Usagi: "No, I mean, was the outfit part of your plan? You had to beat the Outers in a barfight or roping competition or something?"
Mamoru: "No, I just asked them to talk to me."
Ami: /grumbles. "Off-screen and between episodes."
Mamoru: "Look, there's got to be some explanation for how I came by this information, so please just go with it for now."

Ami: "…Pluto isn't a gas giant with multiple moons."
Mamoru: "It isn't now."
Everybody: /gets very quiet.
Mamoru: "So, uh… I think that's kind of where they're coming from in all this."
Makoto: /feels threatened.
Rei: /feels sympathetic.
Ami: /feels sad.
Luna: /feels guilty.
Artemis: /WEEPS MANLY TEARS AT THE OUTERS' DISPLAY OF STOIC BUSHIDO SPIRIT.
Minako: /sighs and offers hanky. "Boys."

Usagi: "Ow! No pinching!"
Chibi-Usa: "I can pinch you as much as like off-camera! Since no one sees it, it's not reproducible violence, and it saves on animation budget!"
Usagi: "Oh, yeah? Then I can pinch back! OW! No biting!"
Chibi-Usa: "I told you, I can do anything I want off-camera and you can't stop me! Nyah nyah nyah!"
Usagi: "Oh, yeah? WHOA! No chainsaws!"

Haruka: "And best of all, in a closed stadium, there's no way the Inners will be able to stumble into the line of fire."
Chibi-Usa: "Hi!" /glomps Sailor Pluto.
Haruka: "What the f—"
Michiru: /covers Haruka's mouth.

Hotaru: /brain freeze.

• Several Minutes Later
Usagi: "Okay, we can stop padding the episode now. Give him the letter."

Undohkai: /rolls Hayase around until he's too dizzy to resist, then…
Undohkai: /…thumps onto him in an aggressive, fully-clothed cowgirl position.
Hayase: /raises an eyebrow.
Undohkai: /grins.
Hayase: /smiles sheepishly back.
Hayase: /belatedly realizes that if a monster grins, it's probably not good for the human.

Mimette: "Why were you helping some kid?! YOU'RE A DAIMON!"
Undohkai (muffled by the shell): "That doesn't mean I'm a monster! I mean, she looked hurt! I couldn't just leave her!"
Mimette: "You ARE a monster! MY monster! You eat souls!"
Undohkai (muffled by the shell): "Only one at a time."

...and Episode 118

The Professor: "Those FOOLS at Health and Safety—"
The Professor: "—may have had a point, actually. Perhaps we should have scheduled a tighter maintenance cycle, scrubbed off some of the carbon scoring, do you think?"

Chibi-Usa: "Hotaru? Why do I see the ocean outside your window instead of the city?"
Hotaru: "I don't know."
Chibi-Usa: "What's outside the other window?"
Hotaru: /looks. "Portmeirion, Wales."

Ami: "Hmm, looks like this house got connected to an alternate dimension."
Rei: "You say that so casually, like this sort of thing happens all the time."
Ami: "Doesn't it?"

Rei: /smacks forehead. "Duh, Sailor Teleport. ¿Wow, we're really on the ball, today, aren't we?"
Minako: /salutes the Professor. "Fear not, citizen! We are privately supported, so none of your taxes were spent on this ramshackle operation!"

Usagi: "How can you say 'inside'?! We just went over a waterfall in the freaking jungle! I can see the sky!"
Ami: "I don't want to mess you up for the exams, since multi-dimensional physics aren't a part of them this year."
Usagi: "You mean I'll have to study this some year?"

Makoto: "I think I'm going to be sick."
John: "Excuse us, can you point the way toward Pepperland?"

Makoto: /hand on Ami's shoulder. "Yeah, this onee-sama here will find a way, guaranteed!"
Ami: "(I told you not to call me that in public!)"
Makoto: "(Oh, hush, you.)"

Ikasaman: "Wait! I'm a pacifist monster!"
Usagi: "In what way does trapping people in a rapidly-disintegrating multiverse filled with lions and bottomless pits with the goal of killing us and stealing our souls make one a pacifist?"
Ikasaman: "In whatever way doesn't involve me suffering any consequences personally."

Ikasaman: "I'm cool. A CHALLENGER APPROACHES. TWO OF THEM."
Chibi-Usa: "OLD MAID!"
Ikasaman: "Hey! Oh, the game. Hoohoo!"

Ikasaman: "She has fallen, but who could go against a smiling face like that? You have shown me the value of true sportsmanship, Hotaru Tomoe, and although I shall free you now, I hope you will return some day as a friend."
Chibi-Usa: "Really?"
Ikasaman: "NO OF COURSE NOT! I'm an evil monster who was never going to play fair anyway! You're all mine, MINE! Bwahahahahahaha!"

The Professor: "Muahahahaha! Someday, you'll regret that you ever saved her, Sailor Soldiers!"
Minako: "Hey, Prof, you're using your inside voice on the outside."
The Professor: "Oh, sorry. Er… hooray for the power of friendship!"

(And I'm still not caught up yet.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012