I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl

[Matrix Dragon]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8295035/4/s ... al-science

A day in the life of a woman hired to babysit Tony Stark

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Getting into Fury's office hadn't been easy, and Darcy really and honestly expected to be thrown out on her ear once she explained her reason for being there.
The slightly mad glint in Fury's eye said otherwise.
"Ms. Lewis," he said, "I can honestly say it would be my pleasure."

---

It was three in the morning, and Tony had so far resisted all attempts by Darcy to cajole, threaten, or bully him to sleep. She had finally retreated to a corner of the lab, and was flipping idly through a two-month-old issue of Rolling Stone she had found on one of the tables.
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP," Nick Fury's voice boomed, echoing angrily through the lab.
Tony screamed. It was very satisfying. Darcy smiled without looking up from her magazine.
After a quick survey of the room proved that Fury had not, in fact, somehow come in without Tony realizing it (not outside of the realm of possibility), he turned an accusatory stare toward Darcy.
"You should know," she said serenely, "that it's on a fifteen second—."
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"—loop."
"I don't know how you got JARVIS to agree to this," Tony muttered. "Mute! Mute!"
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"Think lower tech, Tony," Darcy chided. "JARVIS never would have agreed to help me with this. However, the thing about never neatening up your lab is that it becomes difficult for you to—."
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"—figure out where the person who does clean up after you hid the iPod speakers."
"I hope you realize," Tony said, "this means war."
"Looking forward to it," Darcy said. Her smile was the smile of a woman who knew that she had won this round, and that she had been suitably avenged for all thirty-seven of those moldy coffee cups. She watched as Tony fled the lab.
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"Planning on it, Director Fury, sir," she murmured, before she tossed the magazine aside and followed Tony out.

---

"You're fired," Tony said experimentally the next morning.
"Ahahaha, that's cute," Darcy replied.
Tony sighed.