Drunkard's Walk Forums › General › Other People's Fanfiction v
[Story] Bolostomp

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Linear Mode
[Story] Bolostomp
SkyeFire Offline
Member
**
Posts: 749
Threads: 53
Joined: Dec 2004
Reputation: 0
 
#12
08-13-2011, 07:38 PM
Nanoha vs Bolo, with Bolos as legacy Belkan weapons -- love it. And bringing down the Bolo to Nanoha's weight class using both damage *and* a dependence on cartridges and a commander (basically, this Bolo comes across as a semi-autonomous Device) works well.

However, the grammar needs a lot of work. Particularly, there are lots of run-on sentences and masses of comma spllices.
Find
Reply


Messages In This Thread
[Story] Bolostomp - by CattyNebulart - 08-10-2011, 06:57 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-10-2011, 05:05 PM
[No subject] - by CattyNebulart - 08-10-2011, 07:41 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-10-2011, 10:40 PM
[No subject] - by CattyNebulart - 08-11-2011, 12:42 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 08-11-2011, 04:49 AM
[No subject] - by CattyNebulart - 08-11-2011, 05:28 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 08-13-2011, 06:32 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-13-2011, 06:59 AM
[No subject] - by sweno - 08-13-2011, 08:16 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 08-13-2011, 06:50 PM
[No subject] - by SkyeFire - 08-13-2011, 07:38 PM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 08-13-2011, 09:39 PM
[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 09-01-2011, 06:39 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 09-01-2011, 06:48 AM
[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 09-03-2011, 02:50 AM
[No subject] - by Dragonflight - 09-03-2011, 03:31 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 09-03-2011, 11:44 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 5 Guest(s)