Crossovers That Should Not Be XIV: A Heavy Crossover to Bear

[Bob Schroeck]

As the troll slowly glanced around the girls' room, confusion plain on its ugly green face, Harry and Ron tackled Hermione and slid across the water-slick tile into one of the intact stalls.

"What do we do now?" Ron squeaked as Hermione simply hyperventilated. Harry said nothing, a grim expression in his eyes as the drew his wand.

For several long seconds nothing happened, much to their surprise.

Then there came from outside the stall a not-unpleasant male voice, laced with a slightly stronger version of Professor McGonnagal's faint Scots brogue. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you kids. I'm just a little lost. Would any of you three know how to get to Far Far Away from here?" The trio pressed themselves against the wall behind them as a huge green hand clamped itself over the top edge of the stall door and slowly pulled it open, revealing the troll's improbably gentle eyes. "Or at least out of this building, whatever it is?" He smiled, and to their surprise it was not nearly as terrifying a sight as they'd been expecting. "Oh, yeah, my name is Shrek. And you are...?"

Oh yes, troll in the castle indeed. But a slight miscalculation on Quirrelmort's part.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.