Hogwarts Great Hall, September 1st 1995
The Sorting Hat had finished its song, but before McGonegal could call up the first of the new students there was rumble and a pop and a small pile of dirt appeared under the three-legged stool it sat on, suddenly enough to make the Hat bounce in place a bit. Leaning closer, she was quite taken aback when it suddenly declared, "GRYFFINDOR!"
The more so when a second voice added, "Grip a what?" in a broad Brooklyn accent, and for that matter without the hat's mouth-like tear moving. Thus the normally unflappable Deputy Headmistress merely looked on in amazement as a pair of white gloves supported by grey arms poked out from under the brim and felt around for a few seconds, before picking the hat up to balance against a forehead and two long, wide-splayed ears. "Eh, what's up, doc?" the owner of said voice, gloves, arms, and ears asked, before shimmying up out of a hole that had somehow bored straight through the seat of the stool and producing a carrot from somewhere behind his back. He munched on it while looking around at the Great Hall and the many curious students and staff waiting at the long tables. "My, my, dis certainly don't look like Coney Island... I knew I shoulda' toinned left at Albuquerque."
Gathering her composure, the teacher drew herself up into a more dignified posture. "Indeed not, this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I am Professor Minerva McGonagal, Deputy Headmistress and teacher of Transfigurations. At the moment, however, I was attempting to introduce the new students to be Sorted into their houses," she added, with a quelling wave of her list.
"Ooh, Magic?" asked the newcomer, impressed. "I know some transfinaglin'... like dis! Alakazoot!" Having finished his carrot and tossed the butt end with the greens back into the hole, he drew another (nine and three quarter inches, carrot with a D. carota sativus heart core, quite crisp - a well balanced carrot, good for all purposes) and gave it a twirl and a jab.
The list in McGonegal's hand grew a bit longer and a new name appeared. "Bunny, Bugs?" she read aloud.
"I already told you, this one's a Gryffindor," the Hat said irritably. "Go along now and sit at the table with the red banners, I've got a lot more Sorting yet to do tonight."
(later that evening, in the Headmaster's office)
No matter how much of a surprise his appearance might have been, McGonegal was too fair-minded to deny that the school Register had accepted Bugs as a student, and likewise that the transformation he'd done on her list was well above first-year work. That did leave the question of where to actually place him, however.
"Oh, I loined magic from Da Amazin' Ali-Bahma," Bugs explained. "All kind of innnterestin' spells - here, he can tell ya!" Pulling the Sorting Hat off its shelf, he flipped it over and reached inside, leaning down to fit his arm in nearly to the shoulder before incanting "Roota boota zoot!" and pulling out a rather tall man in a black suit and turban, quite podgy about the middle, who looked confused for a few seconds before focusing on his conjurer.
"Ze rabbit?" he exclaimed, a bit fearfully.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement, but he calmly asked, "You would be The Amazing Ali Bahma then I take it, who taught this talented young... fellow, to perform such skilled transfinaglatio- that is, Transfiguration?"
Ali Bahma looked back and forth between the Headmaster and the rabbit, blinking and making inarticulate noises, before being pre-empted by Bugs once more.
"Oh, he taught me lotsa magic, ain't dat right Ali? Like conjurin' a pie!" Bugs rolled up the fur of his free arm and waggled the fingers theatrically. "Nuttin' up my sleeve!" he announced before plunging it back into the Sorting Hat. "Roota boota zoot! See, a fresh cherry pie, still warm from da' oven. Tell 'em how real it is, Ali!" he crowed, before smashing it in the tall man's face. Ignoring Ali Bahma's indignant sputtering and the way he just got redder even as he wiped the remains away, Bugs delved again into the Hat, this time climbing half into it as it hung in the air where he'd been holding it in order to pull out a large wicker basket. "An' den dere's dat trick wit' da swords..." he he continued, reaching in a fourth time before pulling out the Sword of Gryffindor. "Ooh, dis is a nice one."
Anger blown away by the memory of his last round in the basket and not about to go through that again, Ali Bahma cut into his supposed student's patter. "Zat's right, he's all trained up, just needs ze hat, ze owl, and ze stuffed alley-gator to be ze proper wizard. Bye-bye!" Before any further indignities could be inflicted on him, he waggled his own fingers at the still-floating hat, incanted "Rooty zoot zoot!" and jumped for it, pinching his nose shut with one hand before diving back in.
Giving his best batty-grandfather smile Dumbledore said, "Well, that settles things I should say. It's far from the first time an older, independently taught student enrolled to brush up in his OWL year. Minerva, I trust you can instruct the house-elves in expanding your fifth-year boys' dorm accordingly."
(. . .)
There needs to be some Umbridge in here, too, protesting the inclusion of a "subhuman" student and getting thwarted in humorous ways each time she tries to interrupt, but those details are not resolving for me except for Bugs' aside after one of the more spectacular ones, "I do dis kind'a thing to her all through da picture."
And, of course, there's the interactions between Bugs and the Trio, Bugs and Snape, Bugs and (shudder) the Twins...
Bugs is pretty much a by-the-numbers Trickster Folk Hero, when you get right down to it, and if there's one thing Harry desperately needs, fifth year more than any other, it's a non-pushy/overprotective mentor in the heroing business and the ability to find a bit of fun even when the situation looks bad.
Opinions on the bunnybunny?
- CD, still not back on his own machine... getting an anti-static workspace togehter was more idfficult than expected, and procrastination has set in too...
EOF
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
The Sorting Hat had finished its song, but before McGonegal could call up the first of the new students there was rumble and a pop and a small pile of dirt appeared under the three-legged stool it sat on, suddenly enough to make the Hat bounce in place a bit. Leaning closer, she was quite taken aback when it suddenly declared, "GRYFFINDOR!"
The more so when a second voice added, "Grip a what?" in a broad Brooklyn accent, and for that matter without the hat's mouth-like tear moving. Thus the normally unflappable Deputy Headmistress merely looked on in amazement as a pair of white gloves supported by grey arms poked out from under the brim and felt around for a few seconds, before picking the hat up to balance against a forehead and two long, wide-splayed ears. "Eh, what's up, doc?" the owner of said voice, gloves, arms, and ears asked, before shimmying up out of a hole that had somehow bored straight through the seat of the stool and producing a carrot from somewhere behind his back. He munched on it while looking around at the Great Hall and the many curious students and staff waiting at the long tables. "My, my, dis certainly don't look like Coney Island... I knew I shoulda' toinned left at Albuquerque."
Gathering her composure, the teacher drew herself up into a more dignified posture. "Indeed not, this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I am Professor Minerva McGonagal, Deputy Headmistress and teacher of Transfigurations. At the moment, however, I was attempting to introduce the new students to be Sorted into their houses," she added, with a quelling wave of her list.
"Ooh, Magic?" asked the newcomer, impressed. "I know some transfinaglin'... like dis! Alakazoot!" Having finished his carrot and tossed the butt end with the greens back into the hole, he drew another (nine and three quarter inches, carrot with a D. carota sativus heart core, quite crisp - a well balanced carrot, good for all purposes) and gave it a twirl and a jab.
The list in McGonegal's hand grew a bit longer and a new name appeared. "Bunny, Bugs?" she read aloud.
"I already told you, this one's a Gryffindor," the Hat said irritably. "Go along now and sit at the table with the red banners, I've got a lot more Sorting yet to do tonight."
(later that evening, in the Headmaster's office)
No matter how much of a surprise his appearance might have been, McGonegal was too fair-minded to deny that the school Register had accepted Bugs as a student, and likewise that the transformation he'd done on her list was well above first-year work. That did leave the question of where to actually place him, however.
"Oh, I loined magic from Da Amazin' Ali-Bahma," Bugs explained. "All kind of innnterestin' spells - here, he can tell ya!" Pulling the Sorting Hat off its shelf, he flipped it over and reached inside, leaning down to fit his arm in nearly to the shoulder before incanting "Roota boota zoot!" and pulling out a rather tall man in a black suit and turban, quite podgy about the middle, who looked confused for a few seconds before focusing on his conjurer.
"Ze rabbit?" he exclaimed, a bit fearfully.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement, but he calmly asked, "You would be The Amazing Ali Bahma then I take it, who taught this talented young... fellow, to perform such skilled transfinaglatio- that is, Transfiguration?"
Ali Bahma looked back and forth between the Headmaster and the rabbit, blinking and making inarticulate noises, before being pre-empted by Bugs once more.
"Oh, he taught me lotsa magic, ain't dat right Ali? Like conjurin' a pie!" Bugs rolled up the fur of his free arm and waggled the fingers theatrically. "Nuttin' up my sleeve!" he announced before plunging it back into the Sorting Hat. "Roota boota zoot! See, a fresh cherry pie, still warm from da' oven. Tell 'em how real it is, Ali!" he crowed, before smashing it in the tall man's face. Ignoring Ali Bahma's indignant sputtering and the way he just got redder even as he wiped the remains away, Bugs delved again into the Hat, this time climbing half into it as it hung in the air where he'd been holding it in order to pull out a large wicker basket. "An' den dere's dat trick wit' da swords..." he he continued, reaching in a fourth time before pulling out the Sword of Gryffindor. "Ooh, dis is a nice one."
Anger blown away by the memory of his last round in the basket and not about to go through that again, Ali Bahma cut into his supposed student's patter. "Zat's right, he's all trained up, just needs ze hat, ze owl, and ze stuffed alley-gator to be ze proper wizard. Bye-bye!" Before any further indignities could be inflicted on him, he waggled his own fingers at the still-floating hat, incanted "Rooty zoot zoot!" and jumped for it, pinching his nose shut with one hand before diving back in.
Giving his best batty-grandfather smile Dumbledore said, "Well, that settles things I should say. It's far from the first time an older, independently taught student enrolled to brush up in his OWL year. Minerva, I trust you can instruct the house-elves in expanding your fifth-year boys' dorm accordingly."
(. . .)
There needs to be some Umbridge in here, too, protesting the inclusion of a "subhuman" student and getting thwarted in humorous ways each time she tries to interrupt, but those details are not resolving for me except for Bugs' aside after one of the more spectacular ones, "I do dis kind'a thing to her all through da picture."
And, of course, there's the interactions between Bugs and the Trio, Bugs and Snape, Bugs and (shudder) the Twins...
Bugs is pretty much a by-the-numbers Trickster Folk Hero, when you get right down to it, and if there's one thing Harry desperately needs, fifth year more than any other, it's a non-pushy/overprotective mentor in the heroing business and the ability to find a bit of fun even when the situation looks bad.
Opinions on the bunnybunny?
- CD, still not back on his own machine... getting an anti-static workspace togehter was more idfficult than expected, and procrastination has set in too...
EOF
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows