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ROFL Beethoven, and tell Tchaikovsky the news
 
#34
 From Muv Luv: DYRL- Snippet Collection:
 
Quote:"Any space for a UN Army Captain who needs a drink, badly?" asked a
young woman's voice, with a mild Japanese accent. Keith and Roy turned
to the newcomer, then motioned to an empty seat beside them. The
attractive young woman plopped herself down and quickly ordered the most
expensive bottle of sake she could find.
"So what happened to you?" Roy asked, just as the woman's drink arrived.
And then the bloody radio came on again.
"Breaking
news! According to reports from the Atlantic Fleet, there has been an
assassination attempt on the President! Details are scarce at this
point, it is clear the President and his staff survived the attempt…"

"…Kuso." Yui swore.
Keith
and Roy stared at her. Roy, being one of the people who worked closely
with Project Valkyrie had a few ideas on what just went wrong.
"Let me guess. Some idiot on the Willie Dee
used the new cannon you installed on it recently?" asked Roy. He winced
sympathetically when Yui's reply was to drop her forehead on the bar
counter.
Repeatedly.
"The William D. Porter
accidentally fired a live round at Air Force One while your President
was passing through the Atlantic. Something to do with redeeming
themselves for launching torpedoes at the Enterprise,"
Yui informed them once she had stopped punishing herself. "Nobody died
because his fighter escort had Crusaders with PPBs, but now every news
network in this country is all over the story. I was so busy making sure
you jokers didn't do anything stupid for the last week that I forgot to
keep an eye on that trice damned ship and its trice damned crew!"
"Ah, figures. It's a Democrat in the White House right now."
By this point, Yui was so agitated she wasn't even speaking English anymore.
"I should have put it on the Iowa. Why didn't I put it on the Iowa? What madness possessed me to think that the great and majestic USS William D. Porter was a good idea? That name has a history of calamities as long as it's service history! Just because it's the newest Arleigh-Burke class destroyer… I am an idiot!"
(Edited to addSmile
From Muv Luv: DYRL-Valkyries
Quote:Ensign Lilia Kjellburg had seen many strange things in her life, but
this ranked somewhere in the top 10 of all of the weirdest things she
had ever witnessed with her own two eyes.
"You're stuffing a Valkyire with Haggis," Lila said. "Friday... What. The. Hell."
Ilfriede
von Feulner gleefully nodded, as she continued the laborious process of
putting sealed, airtight plastic containers filled with the
aforementioned culinary dish in every possible nook and cranny of a
VTF-0(2) Proto Valkyire. Friday wasn't alone in her nefarious plot. With
her were Lunateresia von Witzleben, Helgarose von Falkenmayer and
Wolfgang von Brauer, the three members of Cerberus she was closest to.
Together the foursome were doing their level best to fill three weeks'
worth of Haggis into a single Valkyrie.
"We're going to trade this
with something edible!" Ilfriede cackled, reaching around inside the
cockpit to put more packages under the copilot seat. "I don't care if I
came back with nothing but plain old onigiri or cup ramen, anything has
got to be better than this crime against food. Right, everyone?"
"Right! Besides, Japanese people love Haggis! We should give them some!" Luna chirped.
"Japanese food is the best." Helga nodded her head sagely.
"Better them than us!" Wolfgang said, at least being honest about his motives.
In response, Lilia ran a hand down her face.
When
she'd been on the run from the CIA, things had made sense. It was
pretty much a textbook SERE exercise. Lilia had been chased across three
continents, but it had been not all that bad. Getting to see all the
sights and sounds the world had to offer had actually been an eye
opening experience for her. Even when she'd accidently implicated
Melvina and had to drag the Aussie girl all the way to Dover with her,
things hadn't been all that bad.
Then Lillia arrived in Dover Base and met the craziest bunch of maniacs she'd ever met.
"I
don't know why you people need a loony bin, since the whole lot of you
are insane," Lilia sighed. Off the top of her head, she could already
think of dozens of ways Ilfriede's harebrained plot would fall flat on
its face. "You do realize if any of those containers rupture, the smell
will never come out right?"
Ilfirede grinned evilly. "Why do you think we're putting all this crap in Blaze's Valkyrie and not mine?"
Lilia
stared at her friend in shock, for there wasn't a single shred of guilt
on Ilfriede's face. In fact, Ilfirede looked positively proud about it.
Then the ex-NUNS Marine spun on her heel and marched away from the
scene as fast as she could without breaking into an all-out run.
"To hell with you Germans!" Lilia swore. "I'm going over to the Argos Flight offices where the people are actually sane!"

Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles
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Any order worth obeying.... - by SkyeFire - 02-24-2015, 01:10 AM
Crazy Martian - by DHBirr - 02-28-2015, 05:13 PM
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[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-13-2015, 07:15 AM
[No subject] - by ordnance11 - 06-13-2015, 11:00 AM
[No subject] - by Rajvik - 06-22-2015, 02:39 AM
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[No subject] - by LilFluff - 06-26-2015, 06:45 AM
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[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-27-2015, 08:28 AM
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[No subject] - by Shepherd - 07-01-2015, 11:37 PM
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[No subject] - by Shepherd - 09-16-2015, 07:00 AM
[No subject] - by Shepherd - 09-27-2015, 03:38 AM
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[No subject] - by M Fnord - 10-08-2015, 11:46 PM
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[No subject] - by DHBirr - 10-12-2015, 05:36 AM
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[No subject] - by itsune9tl - 10-19-2015, 03:36 AM
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[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-19-2015, 02:52 PM
[No subject] - by Shepherd - 10-28-2015, 01:13 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 12-05-2015, 11:24 AM
[No subject] - by robkelk - 12-17-2015, 04:28 PM
[No subject] - by Shepherd - 02-04-2016, 12:58 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-04-2016, 03:22 PM
[No subject] - by LilFluff - 03-16-2016, 05:25 AM
[No subject] - by SkyeFire - 05-17-2016, 11:26 PM
Damm 5 months and no lolz - by ordnance11 - 10-22-2016, 06:30 AM
[No subject] - by ordnance11 - 10-25-2016, 12:32 AM
[No subject] - by ECSNorway - 11-09-2016, 12:14 AM
[No subject] - by ECSNorway - 11-10-2016, 02:04 AM
[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 11-10-2016, 03:53 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 11-17-2016, 12:43 AM
[No subject] - by ECSNorway - 01-30-2017, 11:07 PM
[No subject] - by ECSNorway - 02-01-2017, 01:18 AM
[No subject] - by TheTwisted1 - 02-24-2017, 03:13 AM
[No subject] - by Ebony - 07-05-2017, 10:20 PM

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