The TRON fanfic Grid Lock Tango contains some pretty hilarious stuff, but a personal favorite of mine comes from Chapter 2:
Quote:"It was Ed's fault."
"Was not!"
"Was so!"
"Like Hell!"
"Hell, yes!"
Alan cleared his throat loudly, and both Jr. and Sam quieted down instantly to look at him. He raised the memo once more and held it up to their faces.
"Once again, I will repeat… Why is there a memo stating that all Encom employees are now required to attend a seminar of proper use and safety of office materials?"
The two boys in front of him shuffled around, neither speaking, simply looking everywhere but at him… Alan crossed his arms and started counting back from ten. When there was still no response, he decided to take matters into his own hands.
"Okay… Given that you two seem to have the maturity levels of 4 years olds right now- you've got 60 seconds to tell me about the memo or I'm placing you in 'time out' and locking you both in the supply closet."
Not surprisingly, Jr. broke first.
"We finished that side project late last night… You know, the one where we take disused programs and recode them for Encom's systems up—"
Alan interrupted.
"You're stalling, Jr… Get to the point."
Sam chose to come to his rescue.
"Yeah, well, in retrospect, talking a bunch of sleep deprived employees into celebrating with a drinking game consisting of Redbull and vodka shooters at 3:30 in the morning may not have been the brightest idea I've ever had."
Alan sighed as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.
"You know, I've met three year olds with more common sense then the two of you combined."
Looking back down he saw Sam flash him a cocky grin.
"Yeah, but I bet they couldn't hold a candle to our charismatic personalities."
"We can only hope… So, who's explaining how I ended up with a brand new office chair?"
Sam and Jr. looked at each other for a second until Jr. shoved his hands in his pockets and exhaled slowly as he stared at the floor.
"Sometime after the 6th shot we thought it'd be fun to have an office chair relay race."
Alan raised an eyebrow, and Sam piped up with a grin.
"Down the staircase!"
Alan just stared and Jr. looked up, blushing with embarrassment.
"Nothing but one minor injury for the human participants… But your chair didn't make it."
Alan stared for another moment, and then reached out and quickly cuffed both of them. As both boys responded with a resounding 'OW' he turned on his heels and began to walk away, chuckling quietly. Suddenly Sam's voice ran out.
"That's it? No big spiel on the waste of an ill spent youth?"
Alan grinned as he turned to face them with a shrug.
"On the way down, did either of you happen to notice the dents in the metal door on the third landing?"
They both nodded, and Alan laughed as he looked at Sam.
"That was your father… Kevin thought it would be fun to 'surf' a desktop down the handrails… Memories fuzzy, but I think JD was involved in the inspiration process."
Sam grinned then narrowed his eyes in thought.
"And you would know that, how?"
Instead of answer, Alan simply grinned and gave Sam a mock salute as he turned and walked away, calling out over his shoulder as he did so.
"I'll send out the memo to everyone, Sam. Just don't expect me to be present- I've already heard everything they'll tell you before."