I enjoyed this a good deal.
Builds a fairly strong picture, complete with emotions.
I don't know very much about W.I.T.C.H. and it works for me. (I knew Italian magical girl series, starting with five girls, and that is about it.)
End somehow feels quick. Dunno exactly why, because this otherwise works as a satisfactory conclusion. Is there going to be any more?
Might be able to figure it out better if it weren't for last night's insomnia.
I guess part of what makes me think of more, besides my interest in seeing more of your writing, is two things. One is that there is strong imagery earlier in the story, building up the problem, vomiting and so forth, that does not quite seem to match the strength of the imagery at the end. Unless maybe there is something there, perhaps a bit personal, that I'm not getting. The other is the whole unfair to Will/fifteen minutes/twelve hours alive bit. That kind of implies that she eventually gains a great deal more perspective.
Couple questions. Is Will a planner? Is Collins okay? Maybe its not knowing the setting, or maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm kinda hoping he is a decent person.
I like the imperfect duplicate of Will.
Builds a fairly strong picture, complete with emotions.
I don't know very much about W.I.T.C.H. and it works for me. (I knew Italian magical girl series, starting with five girls, and that is about it.)
End somehow feels quick. Dunno exactly why, because this otherwise works as a satisfactory conclusion. Is there going to be any more?
Might be able to figure it out better if it weren't for last night's insomnia.
I guess part of what makes me think of more, besides my interest in seeing more of your writing, is two things. One is that there is strong imagery earlier in the story, building up the problem, vomiting and so forth, that does not quite seem to match the strength of the imagery at the end. Unless maybe there is something there, perhaps a bit personal, that I'm not getting. The other is the whole unfair to Will/fifteen minutes/twelve hours alive bit. That kind of implies that she eventually gains a great deal more perspective.
Couple questions. Is Will a planner? Is Collins okay? Maybe its not knowing the setting, or maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm kinda hoping he is a decent person.
I like the imperfect duplicate of Will.