Drunkard's Walk Forums › General › Other People's Fanfiction v
Fanfic: An Astral Drop in Heatherfield

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Linear Mode
Fanfic: An Astral Drop in Heatherfield
classicdrogn Offline
Senior Member
****
Posts: 7,377
Threads: 577
Joined: Apr 2003
Reputation: 5
 
#4
02-20-2013, 09:42 AM
D'awww. I agree that it does need a bit more in the running awy segment, maybe at first she pauses to catch her breath somewhere, only to see a couple of the girls approaching and take off again? One of the not-in-on-the-magic characters could even be there, ask 'Will' what's wrong, and as she's fumbling for a reply she spots the pursuit coming... just something to give that section equal weight with the 'trying to pass' part.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Find
Reply


Messages In This Thread
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-20-2013, 01:26 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-20-2013, 02:20 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-20-2013, 09:42 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-20-2013, 02:55 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-20-2013, 04:24 PM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-21-2013, 09:27 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-21-2013, 11:47 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-21-2013, 01:31 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-21-2013, 03:14 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-21-2013, 07:02 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-21-2013, 11:49 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-22-2013, 02:10 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-22-2013, 09:53 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-22-2013, 05:00 PM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-22-2013, 07:59 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-23-2013, 12:33 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-23-2013, 05:50 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-23-2013, 10:52 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-23-2013, 01:23 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-23-2013, 01:37 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-23-2013, 05:19 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-23-2013, 07:23 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-24-2013, 12:19 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-24-2013, 07:46 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-24-2013, 02:13 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-24-2013, 04:42 PM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-24-2013, 09:36 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-24-2013, 10:13 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-25-2013, 12:53 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-25-2013, 01:34 PM
[No subject] - by Rusco Ducam - 02-25-2013, 02:12 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-25-2013, 04:52 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-26-2013, 12:13 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-26-2013, 11:12 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-26-2013, 07:06 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-27-2013, 03:00 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-27-2013, 01:34 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 02-27-2013, 07:49 PM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 02-28-2013, 08:58 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 02-28-2013, 09:54 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-01-2013, 10:56 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 03-02-2013, 04:48 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-02-2013, 08:26 AM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 03-02-2013, 08:47 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-02-2013, 01:58 PM
[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 03-04-2013, 01:39 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 03-04-2013, 02:39 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-04-2013, 10:45 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 03-05-2013, 06:29 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-05-2013, 10:04 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 03-05-2013, 06:21 PM
[No subject] - by Deadpan29 - 03-05-2013, 07:49 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-06-2013, 12:55 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 03-06-2013, 05:30 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-06-2013, 11:07 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-08-2013, 12:08 AM
[No subject] - by RomanFanboy - 03-08-2013, 09:35 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-08-2013, 10:51 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-09-2013, 05:03 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-11-2013, 12:17 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-13-2013, 01:02 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-16-2013, 08:32 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-18-2013, 12:01 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-20-2013, 11:05 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-22-2013, 10:48 PM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-24-2013, 09:27 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-28-2013, 09:30 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 03-30-2013, 08:23 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 04-02-2013, 08:04 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 04-03-2013, 10:34 AM
[No subject] - by drakensis - 04-09-2013, 07:22 AM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 21 Guest(s)