[RFC] The Trials of the Brothers Grimm (working title)

[Thesilentjackofalltrade]

Deadpan29 wrote:

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Thesilentjackofalltrade wrote:

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Deadpan29 wrote:

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Well, this is a situation in which it actually makes sense for the viewpoint character to take a moment to mentally list where he is, what's currently happening, what's likely to happen in the near future, and some details about who the people around him are. Consider adding a paragraph of that nature somewhere in there.

Right, I will work on it in a bit. Thanks for the constructive criticism, it really does help.

While I initially said "a paragraph", I would like to change that recomendation to scattering the background information throughout rather than clustering it in one infodump.  He turns to see Kamadi, we get a sentence with two or three things about the character's personality and/or capabilities, etc. 

Alright, I will give that a try.
Just got back from work, so my brain is fried, I will work on it tomorrow.
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Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered
Quote from Julius Caesar