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[RFC] Fate/Stay Night: While Under Seven
 
#5
In the line, "Suddenly, she was engulfed in shadow. A monster had appeared right behind her, overshadowing her presence instantly," it is unclear who "she" is. A few lines later it becomes clear that it is Ilya, but that is later.

I know Rin has spent much of her life studying heroic spirits, but figuring out who the previous caster was from just the Joan of Arc obsession seems like a far leap for her to make. It's not actually necessary for the characters to learn everything the readers know, especially if it is not really relevant to their current problems.
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No, I don't believe the world has gone mad.  In order for it to go mad it would need to have been sane at some point.
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Messages In This Thread
[RFC] Fate/Stay Night: While Under Seven - by Seraviel - 03-14-2013, 04:51 AM
[No subject] - by Star Ranger4 - 03-14-2013, 03:37 PM
[No subject] - by Florin - 03-14-2013, 09:17 PM
[No subject] - by Seraviel - 03-14-2013, 09:39 PM
[No subject] - by Deadpan29 - 03-14-2013, 10:32 PM
[No subject] - by Seraviel - 03-14-2013, 10:43 PM
1st Half of chapter 2 - by Seraviel - 03-16-2013, 02:09 AM

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