The New Math (Nanoha SI), Thread 2

[classicdrogn]

First, it's not a briefing.  It's meant to be sort of a 'remember why this mission is so important' bit.  How can I improve that?

Second, the dam hasn't been 'sploded yet.  The intent was that he looked the place over, came up with the dam idea... and then went 'oh, crap.  I need to change plans.  That's going to suck.'

Third, on reflection, I really need to rewrite that.  It really isn't smooth at all.  Thanks!

That and the update clear it up pretty well, but if you insert a line where he realizes that blowing the dam would cause massive death and destruction everywhere downstream, not just to these guys, and put "I need to regroup and come up with a new plan" on screen, that should handle it. Only not the specific word "regroup" since it's a solo mission. "Fall back," maybe?
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows