Okay, doing this as I read.
clamored (making a lot of noise) -> clambered (climbed)
Most of my usual smart alec-y comments and speculation are headed off by having been told going in that this is a TM cross. You might want to add something about the differences between animation and living detail that threw you of from recognizing Washuu and Ryoko straight off, though.
I can see the point of the name change - I avoid putting my real name on the internet myself - but agree with Dartz & Foxboy that having it done that way will need to be addressed in some way at some point. Yes, I know you've already said there was a ROB and Tsunami involved in the other thread, but it might be simpler to just use a nom de plume and add an author's note at the end that no, it is in fact not your real name, so don't bother trying to RL search for you by it
At any rate, it looks like a solid start, so keep on chuggin'!
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
clamored (making a lot of noise) -> clambered (climbed)
Most of my usual smart alec-y comments and speculation are headed off by having been told going in that this is a TM cross. You might want to add something about the differences between animation and living detail that threw you of from recognizing Washuu and Ryoko straight off, though.
I can see the point of the name change - I avoid putting my real name on the internet myself - but agree with Dartz & Foxboy that having it done that way will need to be addressed in some way at some point. Yes, I know you've already said there was a ROB and Tsunami involved in the other thread, but it might be simpler to just use a nom de plume and add an author's note at the end that no, it is in fact not your real name, so don't bother trying to RL search for you by it
At any rate, it looks like a solid start, so keep on chuggin'!
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows