Add me to the list of People Who Enjoy What You're Making. Maybe underline my name a few times.
It's got a definite Sleeping With The Girls flavor, but you've already made the differences show up rather nicely. Also, starting off with a transition while driving? I approve. ^^
As far as writing quality goes, it's well-constructed, fun to read, and easy to visualize. I feel like Washuu is a touch too accommodating- she hasn't really tried to tease or scare the SI yet, which is odd- but that might just be her being in serious-mode the whole time. Can't really find anything else to offer potentially-constructive criticism on, so I'll just sit here and wait for the next bit of it.
/does his best imitation of a begging puppy, looking forlornly at the screen
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
It's got a definite Sleeping With The Girls flavor, but you've already made the differences show up rather nicely. Also, starting off with a transition while driving? I approve. ^^
As far as writing quality goes, it's well-constructed, fun to read, and easy to visualize. I feel like Washuu is a touch too accommodating- she hasn't really tried to tease or scare the SI yet, which is odd- but that might just be her being in serious-mode the whole time. Can't really find anything else to offer potentially-constructive criticism on, so I'll just sit here and wait for the next bit of it.
/does his best imitation of a begging puppy, looking forlornly at the screen
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.