Quote:-Technically competent. You're either a less sloppy writer than I am, or you've already had somebody polish it, because there are no linguistic problems in sight.
-Your crossover idea works. With one exception, everything you've established so far fits both Worm and MSLN canon.
-I don't see any OOCness- again, with that one exception
Thanks. I'll admit I have issues with creativity, but the technical aspects are something I've had time to polish. I'm perfectly willing to serve as a copy editor for others' works if they're interested (and the work interests me, or I get paid for it, heh.)
Quote:-Presea. What's with that? At this point in MSLN, she should be either dead, or lost... so Season 1 must've happened very differently.
-Again, Presea. How is she sane- or healthy, for that matter? Curing her dramatic ailment is one thing, but she was sort of a basket case in canon. I'd be tempted to assume that Alicia never got killed... but if that happened, you wouldn't have Fate, which would derail S2 and S3 significantly. More importantly, Presea would have no reason to go to Earth, so how would she and Nanoha have history? Best guess is that Alicia survived, she was in charge of the Jewel Seed retrieval, and the two of them... had disagreements.
Yeah. The way I see it, there's very little in the way of butterflies that the Nanohaverse can insert into Worm canon unless there were ships and explorers left on the other side of the Wall, which is Scion's dimensional barrier around the set of universes selected for the experiment. And since it was focussed around Earth, which is not exactly high on the Bureau's list of interesting planets...
Presea's role I plan to explore later on, but I will say that Fate does exist, but things were rather heavily butterflied by the sudden appearance of the Wall. It took place several years before Presea's accident, and things ran a bit differently.
Quote:-If the TSAB fixes Taylor, will she be Taylor, Skitter, or Khepri? The dimensional barrier might have something to say about her keeping those powers, but then you also have the issue of mental contamination to deal with. She may very well be copy-of-QA-who-thinks-she's-Taylor at that point, and isn't that an interesting can of worms?
An excellent question. Some of which will be answered in the next chapter.
Quote:-So capes run off of magic to some degree. Explain why the Entities haven't just started using magic as an entropy-averting power source. Also, does this mean only mages can trigger? Or that non-mage capes are dependent on their passenger for power? The first would explain Eidolon- he doesn't have a power source of his own, and neither does his shard.
I love readers who think these things through.
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Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.