[Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So?

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[Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So?

Bob Schroeck Offline

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Chief Screwball and Head Loon Wrangler

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#14

10-13-2014, 03:26 PM

Heh. So far so good, BA. I loved the first incarnation of this story, and I'm liking how round 2 is shaping up.

A few small things I spotted in this post, though:

Quote:two wings in and L-shaped configuration

That should be "an L-shaped".

Quote:soto voiced.

Two "t"s in "sotto".

Quote:bigotted people

One "t" in "bigoted". This is probably where the "t" from "sotto" got to.

Quote:At first they seemed so deriding

"Derisive" would probably the better choice, grammatically, but is that really the word you want, either way? "Deriding" and "derisive" both require active communication -- speech or writing. Maybe what you mean is "contemptuous"?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

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[Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So? - by Black Aeronaut - 08-26-2014, 06:03 PM

RE: [Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So? - by Black Aeronaut - 03-23-2018, 04:51 PM

[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-27-2014, 12:51 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-27-2014, 11:11 AM

[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-27-2014, 11:53 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-28-2014, 01:44 PM

[No subject] - by ClassicDrogn - 08-28-2014, 10:55 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-29-2014, 10:46 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-24-2014, 01:07 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-01-2014, 12:59 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-01-2014, 03:44 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-01-2014, 05:54 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-02-2014, 02:32 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-11-2014, 04:44 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 10-13-2014, 03:26 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-14-2014, 01:18 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 10-14-2014, 02:25 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 10-15-2014, 06:41 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-16-2014, 12:36 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-29-2014, 09:04 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 10-29-2014, 03:58 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 11-04-2014, 09:07 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 11-23-2014, 06:48 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 11-23-2014, 11:50 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 11-24-2014, 11:08 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 11-24-2014, 03:37 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 11-24-2014, 05:55 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 11-26-2014, 01:11 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-03-2014, 03:05 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 12-04-2014, 04:26 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-04-2014, 08:38 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-11-2014, 12:05 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 12-11-2014, 03:04 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-12-2014, 02:46 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-22-2014, 02:12 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 12-22-2014, 05:07 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-24-2014, 10:08 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 12-26-2014, 01:27 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-19-2015, 11:12 AM

[No subject] - by Deadpan29 - 05-21-2015, 09:53 PM

[No subject] - by Deadpan29 - 05-22-2015, 12:13 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-22-2015, 02:11 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-22-2015, 03:56 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-22-2015, 03:59 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 05-22-2015, 02:50 PM

[No subject] - by Cobalt Greywalker - 05-22-2015, 08:16 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-23-2015, 02:28 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 05-23-2015, 02:50 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-23-2015, 10:59 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-25-2015, 08:25 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-25-2015, 11:49 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-26-2015, 04:42 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-27-2015, 01:43 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-27-2015, 02:05 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 05-27-2015, 02:22 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-27-2015, 02:33 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 05-28-2015, 12:39 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-28-2015, 01:01 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-02-2015, 01:47 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 06-03-2015, 12:35 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-03-2015, 02:51 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-03-2015, 09:21 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 06-03-2015, 10:53 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-05-2015, 02:36 PM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 06-05-2015, 05:25 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-06-2015, 12:04 AM

Minor Nit to pick ;) - by BLHarrison - 06-06-2015, 04:29 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-06-2015, 04:35 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-12-2015, 10:13 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-12-2015, 03:46 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-12-2015, 07:08 PM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-13-2015, 01:12 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 06-13-2015, 06:58 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-19-2015, 12:06 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 06-19-2015, 01:50 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-19-2015, 09:51 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 06-19-2015, 02:27 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 06-19-2015, 05:54 PM

Sorry Folks, False Alarm! - by Black Aeronaut - 06-21-2015, 12:07 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-06-2015, 11:02 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 07-06-2015, 03:01 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-06-2015, 11:32 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 07-07-2015, 12:21 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 07-07-2015, 05:12 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-07-2015, 07:06 AM

[No subject] - by Bob Schroeck - 07-08-2015, 01:29 AM

[No subject] - by paladindythe - 07-13-2015, 03:47 PM

[No subject] - by paladindythe - 07-13-2015, 04:03 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-13-2015, 10:42 PM

[No subject] - by Seraviel - 07-13-2015, 10:45 PM

[No subject] - by paladindythe - 07-14-2015, 05:40 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-14-2015, 05:45 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-15-2015, 08:50 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 07-15-2015, 03:49 PM

[No subject] - by paladindythe - 07-21-2015, 12:16 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 07-21-2015, 12:20 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-20-2015, 02:07 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 08-20-2015, 03:45 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-31-2015, 08:02 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 08-31-2015, 06:37 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 08-31-2015, 07:16 PM

[No subject] - by Azunth - 09-04-2015, 08:11 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-05-2015, 08:13 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 09-05-2015, 04:00 PM

I DID A THING!!! - by Black Aeronaut - 09-06-2015, 02:18 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 09-06-2015, 02:39 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-07-2015, 05:58 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 09-09-2015, 02:42 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-13-2015, 08:08 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-20-2015, 01:15 PM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 09-20-2015, 05:56 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 09-20-2015, 09:30 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-02-2015, 12:54 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-02-2015, 01:04 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 10-04-2015, 05:36 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-04-2015, 08:59 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-04-2015, 04:25 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 10-05-2015, 12:22 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 10-05-2015, 02:08 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 10-06-2015, 12:38 AM

The Sleeping Beast Awakens... - by Black Aeronaut - 03-13-2016, 11:43 AM

[No subject] - by Rajvik - 03-13-2016, 04:55 PM

RE: [Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So? - by robkelk - 03-14-2016, 03:16 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 04-07-2016, 08:26 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 04-09-2016, 03:12 PM

UPDATE INBOUND! - by Black Aeronaut - 07-17-2016, 09:57 AM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 04-17-2017, 10:55 AM

[No subject] - by robkelk - 04-17-2017, 01:30 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 04-18-2017, 12:18 AM

Revisiting Princess Kurama and Other Stuff... - by Black Aeronaut - 05-22-2017, 10:20 AM

[No subject] - by itsune9tl - 05-23-2017, 08:48 PM

[No subject] - by Black Aeronaut - 05-24-2017, 01:03 AM

[No subject] - by itsune9tl - 05-24-2017, 11:33 PM

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