[Commentary Thread] Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So?

[Black Aeronaut]

robkelk wrote:

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While re-reading to see what the changes were, I noticed a couple of possible typos in one section. In any other story, I'd be sure they are typos, but ... it's Zeke.

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I woke to the sound of fluttering wings and reflexively began to feel around. All I found in my bed was a hallow space that was still warm.

Is Zeke starting to think of Deimos as a demigoddes, or should "hallow" be "hollow" there?

In addition to the usual student’s compliment of stationary, workbooks and supplies,

As opposed to those mobile workbooks and supplies... Maybe some of his notes do wander off, and these are the others?

The first one is definitely a typo.  Thanks for spotting that one - I'll get it fixed right away.
That second bit, it was meant to get the idea across that, at first glance, the contents of his school bag seem unremarkable, but once you dug a little deeper you'd find all that strange kit in there.  I'll see about reworking that bit to be more clear.