Okay, My Lovely Wife and I saw Transformers last night, so here goes the review.
I shall start with the director. I think that Michael Bay is a smashing director his music videos are uniformly excellent, well paced and managing to convey complex stories on abbreviated scales. He is a smashing director of music videos. When it comes to films, Michael Bay is a smashing director in a different way I keep wanting to smash him in the teeth; while shouting stop shaking the camera and insulting our intelligence you infantile twat! Michael Bay is one of the directors that I characterize as lacking confidence. They dont have faith in their skills, so they go overboard with everything and hope that no one notices that they really dont have an eye for framing scenes or carrying off complex, nuanced, structure. They never do something subtly when they can do it large and loud. Chris Columbus is another such director.
Transformers is every inch the summer movie. Loud enough to get Beethoven to go I sodding heard that and dumb enough to engage in a debate on the works of Proust with Paris Hilton and lose. Get your popcorn, rip your brain out and float it in a refreshing beverage and enjoy. No Aerosmith though, thank your favorite imaginary friend for that.
I saw the original Transformers when they debuted caught the first movie on the big screen and was nostalgic enough about the mythos of it to be looking forward to a big screen blow out. While the special effects are top notch and the military hardware porn should have even the most devout pacifist popping a pants patriot missile; I found that there was very little to draw you into the drama of the battles. While you can cheer for the human heroes as you have spent half the film growing attached to them the hot robot on robot action was cold. The overly complex designs and hyper-kinetic direction made it difficult to see who was doing what to whom and how. Given that there is no solid emotional connection between the protagonists and villains (other than what you bring with you to the cinema), it makes the conflicts even flatter. I found myself far more connected to Bumblebee as the car than as the robot. The car emoted better. Likewise the whole cube McGuffin felt forced, especially as the means to put down Megatron (while paving the way for a sequel) it gives a convenient rabbit to chase, which is the kindest thing that can be said about it.
The comic relief in the film is good; and remarkable restrained for Bay (Except for Frenzy(?) The little hyperkinetic robot) and the nucking futs Intelligence Agent was a lot of fun in an out-of-his-tiny-little-mind way. Likewise the car dealer worked very well and was not over-used to the point of physical pain on the part of the audience.
Annoyances. Giant robot slapstick and urination. The hiding around the house scene was dragged out far too long and the very successful charm it engendered early on was flushed away.
Bigger Annoyances: The hackers subplot. Other than giving us another hot chick, and Anthony Anderson doing his Anthony Anderson thing, this whole group could have been happily excised they add very little to the substance of the film, while simultaneously dropping a load of dumb on the audience.
Biggest Annoyance: Blind humans. Frenzy hipping and hopping on the tarmac beside Air Force One, and other such egregious examples, demonstrating that the vast majority of humans of the film have had their visual cortex superseded by the twin forces of barely aware of sound and light and Big Bird.
And despite all of this, I enjoyed it.
I shall start with the director. I think that Michael Bay is a smashing director his music videos are uniformly excellent, well paced and managing to convey complex stories on abbreviated scales. He is a smashing director of music videos. When it comes to films, Michael Bay is a smashing director in a different way I keep wanting to smash him in the teeth; while shouting stop shaking the camera and insulting our intelligence you infantile twat! Michael Bay is one of the directors that I characterize as lacking confidence. They dont have faith in their skills, so they go overboard with everything and hope that no one notices that they really dont have an eye for framing scenes or carrying off complex, nuanced, structure. They never do something subtly when they can do it large and loud. Chris Columbus is another such director.
Transformers is every inch the summer movie. Loud enough to get Beethoven to go I sodding heard that and dumb enough to engage in a debate on the works of Proust with Paris Hilton and lose. Get your popcorn, rip your brain out and float it in a refreshing beverage and enjoy. No Aerosmith though, thank your favorite imaginary friend for that.
I saw the original Transformers when they debuted caught the first movie on the big screen and was nostalgic enough about the mythos of it to be looking forward to a big screen blow out. While the special effects are top notch and the military hardware porn should have even the most devout pacifist popping a pants patriot missile; I found that there was very little to draw you into the drama of the battles. While you can cheer for the human heroes as you have spent half the film growing attached to them the hot robot on robot action was cold. The overly complex designs and hyper-kinetic direction made it difficult to see who was doing what to whom and how. Given that there is no solid emotional connection between the protagonists and villains (other than what you bring with you to the cinema), it makes the conflicts even flatter. I found myself far more connected to Bumblebee as the car than as the robot. The car emoted better. Likewise the whole cube McGuffin felt forced, especially as the means to put down Megatron (while paving the way for a sequel) it gives a convenient rabbit to chase, which is the kindest thing that can be said about it.
The comic relief in the film is good; and remarkable restrained for Bay (Except for Frenzy(?) The little hyperkinetic robot) and the nucking futs Intelligence Agent was a lot of fun in an out-of-his-tiny-little-mind way. Likewise the car dealer worked very well and was not over-used to the point of physical pain on the part of the audience.
Annoyances. Giant robot slapstick and urination. The hiding around the house scene was dragged out far too long and the very successful charm it engendered early on was flushed away.
Bigger Annoyances: The hackers subplot. Other than giving us another hot chick, and Anthony Anderson doing his Anthony Anderson thing, this whole group could have been happily excised they add very little to the substance of the film, while simultaneously dropping a load of dumb on the audience.
Biggest Annoyance: Blind humans. Frenzy hipping and hopping on the tarmac beside Air Force One, and other such egregious examples, demonstrating that the vast majority of humans of the film have had their visual cortex superseded by the twin forces of barely aware of sound and light and Big Bird.
And despite all of this, I enjoyed it.