New Fic Recommendations: The Phoned-in Sequel

[Jorlem]

Harry Potter and the Dagger of Foreboding
A crackfic, or something.  It is very funny.  It also has great analogies.

"But enough joy," McGonagall said sharply, bringing the
three back to earth like gravity drags down a space station carrying
seven passengers, the outer ring of the station burning off in the
atmosphere, killing three of them and sending the smoldering wreck into a
major population center, killing hundreds, while the main part of the
station slams into the ocean, killing three of the remaining four and
murdering thousands of fish. The last passenger, confident in his
survival would then crawl out of the ruined station…just as a spark
lands on a nearby oil rig, obliterating him. "We must go see Professor
Dumbledore."

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Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.