LOL! Ditto here. I've always been overweight and hated PT. Barely passed the PT standards at the Canadian Forces Recruit School in Cornwallis NS when I went through basic in 1985-86. Being on ship and working in a staff college didn't help any. When I got to 1 CSR, I found out they were just as fanatic about PT as the Canadian Airborne Regiment in Petawawa (which was still active at the time; they weren't disbanded until 1995 after that whole miserable business in Somalia).
Canadian lighthouse to U.S. Warship approaching it: "This is a lighthouse. Your call!"