I will, as a point of order, disclose that I have never personally had any sort of serious personal relationship. This is all inference, theory, and what "seems right." Your Mileage May Vary.
Much as Bluemage said, Moving in together is a very big shift in any relationship. Doubly so with a long-distance/internet relationship. You may know someone pretty well in the social sphere, but moving into the personal one means a whole lot of seemingly simple things have to change for both of you. Not the least of which is someone else is there sharing your space.
I know that apartment leases tend to have specific terms on people not on the lease not staying there; but, if as you said, the landlord knew of and was at least not objecting to your presence, keeping you locked in (or out of) the apartment is just plain cruel and controlling. If you both agreed you could stay there, and you were paying half of her rent, the very least she could do is give you a key to the place.
Now, I know how easily it is to double-book your time with friends when you don't have a strong schedule in place (and, for a soon-to-be-marriage, you shouldn't need one). I've done it far too many times either through inattentiveness, or misjudging the length of certain activities. I can understand an occasional mistake, but with three months of planning, there should at least be some room for spending time together. If she's not going to be able to reliably be around for you, she's got no room to expect that you should be just waiting for her to come home at any point.
I would advise remembering Hanlon's Razor when thinking of the debacle that was this vacation, though. "Never attribute to malice what is adequately explained by stupidity." I don't think she meant to be as uncaring and thoughtless as she turned out to be, but I don't think she was ready to handle the changes that come with sharing your life with someone. It sounds like she just went along with the relationship as she knew it, not remembering you were actually there with her now. Then, when confronted with the realities of the situation, she turned defensive rather than admit to the indignities she put you through.
Given the situation, I think you did as best as you could by getting out. I'm not so certain that an unceremonious severing of all communications was required, but it certainly wasn't undeserved.
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The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
Much as Bluemage said, Moving in together is a very big shift in any relationship. Doubly so with a long-distance/internet relationship. You may know someone pretty well in the social sphere, but moving into the personal one means a whole lot of seemingly simple things have to change for both of you. Not the least of which is someone else is there sharing your space.
I know that apartment leases tend to have specific terms on people not on the lease not staying there; but, if as you said, the landlord knew of and was at least not objecting to your presence, keeping you locked in (or out of) the apartment is just plain cruel and controlling. If you both agreed you could stay there, and you were paying half of her rent, the very least she could do is give you a key to the place.
Now, I know how easily it is to double-book your time with friends when you don't have a strong schedule in place (and, for a soon-to-be-marriage, you shouldn't need one). I've done it far too many times either through inattentiveness, or misjudging the length of certain activities. I can understand an occasional mistake, but with three months of planning, there should at least be some room for spending time together. If she's not going to be able to reliably be around for you, she's got no room to expect that you should be just waiting for her to come home at any point.
I would advise remembering Hanlon's Razor when thinking of the debacle that was this vacation, though. "Never attribute to malice what is adequately explained by stupidity." I don't think she meant to be as uncaring and thoughtless as she turned out to be, but I don't think she was ready to handle the changes that come with sharing your life with someone. It sounds like she just went along with the relationship as she knew it, not remembering you were actually there with her now. Then, when confronted with the realities of the situation, she turned defensive rather than admit to the indignities she put you through.
Given the situation, I think you did as best as you could by getting out. I'm not so certain that an unceremonious severing of all communications was required, but it certainly wasn't undeserved.
---
The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI