Quote:K sai wrote:BWAAAUUUGH? That... That is BEYOND brown nosing. That is downright sycophancy. I mean, seriously... working on holiday time... WITHOUT GETTING PAID!? That's a criminal offense if she were to ever press charges. But she won't. (Oh, I know she did it of her own free will, but these days that sort of thing is such a veritable minefield that an employer is better off telling the employee to GTFO than chance a legal action. Hell, if her company's legal department found out about it there would be hell to pay from within the company.)So yeah, everyone seems to have hit the target exactly in terms of her behaviour and attitudes even though I didn't discuss it at length. So I guess I did the right thing. I just don't know what to do with myself now - after 13 years and 30k worth of 'assistance' and expenses related to the relationship I'm at a complete loss - having someone as a constant and then not having them there is very debilitating. Am trying to rebuild my social circle, but its not easy...
- As for brown nosing - yeah, her bosses abused the hell out of her as far as I could see. All her 'time-off ' was unpaid then they expected her to work late to make up for it. When I was complaining about her behaviour as opposed to what she told me, which as you can see didn't match her actions at all (and suggesting she needed to quit her jobs) then she would turn around and tell me I was twisting her words and accused me of issuing ultimatums etc. She couldn't understand why I paid attention to her behaviour - and not what she kept telling me i.e. that she was trying so hard and I was unappreciative.
Wow, this kinda ballooned. My apologies again and thanks for all the responses. It reinforces that I'm not imagining things or have unreasonable expectations from a person in her position/generation etc.- as she claimed...
Quote:K sai wrote:Well... In my experience, this is usually where the floodgates open. Mutual friends of yours will probably try and remain neutral, but as more and more dirty bath water gets tossed out the window, the baby won't be long in following and they'll see how things really are. (Dunno if they have the saying downunder, 'Don't throw the baby out with the bath.')
So yeah, everyone seems to have hit the target exactly in terms of her
behaviour and attitudes even though I didn't discuss it at length. So I
guess I did the right thing. I just don't know what to do with myself
now - after 13 years and 30k worth of 'assistance' and expenses related
to the relationship I'm at a complete loss - having someone as a
constant and then not having them there is very debilitating. Am trying
to rebuild my social circle, but its not easy...
Otherwise... I've been there, somewhat. Not as bad as your situation, but yeah. It is super-tough, and an honest-to-gods kick to the guts, and for me there were some days I just felt like rolling over and dying. But, as the old saw goes, life goes on.
I recommend some music. There's really nothing better to help a man move through this process - like lubricating the gears, really. Just make sure you get a good broad emotional spectrum in there. Having angry and sad music may certainly help, but something a little upbeat doesn't hurt either. Many is the man out there today who can proudly play special song from his past and say, "This song literally saved my life."