I'll add a few things onto this.
We do have a concept of "paid leave", but it's not mandated or enforced by law, and it tends to only be applied to full-time workers. And some places try to avoid providing it to full time workers if they can manage it - typically by trying to ensure that they never have full time workers.
But it's also not really an excuse for any of her behavior. She should have been able to make arrangements, or at the very least, recommended that this visit not occur during the holidays. If she was working retail, we've got an increasing tendency towards exploitation and retail workers effectively no longer having Thanksgiving.
Also, as bad as it seems that you've had to cut off contact... even if things hadn't ended so badly, it might have been a good idea just to get your balance back to resume things as a mere friendship.
I will also pile on with the "long distance relationships aren't the best thing." I've had two. Both of them ended pretty badly, and the last one was actually abusive, with circumstances I will not go into. My current relationship is absolutely, purely local, and it suits me to the ground at this point. Also, we both have our own lives, I haven't stepped away from much of my own social life to be in this relationship, and I do not expect my partner to step away from theirs. And yes, stepping away from one's social life to a major degree is something of a cost of long distance relationship, because as noted, it's effectively like a vacation when there is a visitation.
Regarding the 30,000 in assistance, write it off as the cost of a lesson learned.
--
"You know how parents tell you everything's going to fine, but you know they're lying to make you feel better? Everything's going to be fine." - The Doctor
We do have a concept of "paid leave", but it's not mandated or enforced by law, and it tends to only be applied to full-time workers. And some places try to avoid providing it to full time workers if they can manage it - typically by trying to ensure that they never have full time workers.
But it's also not really an excuse for any of her behavior. She should have been able to make arrangements, or at the very least, recommended that this visit not occur during the holidays. If she was working retail, we've got an increasing tendency towards exploitation and retail workers effectively no longer having Thanksgiving.
Also, as bad as it seems that you've had to cut off contact... even if things hadn't ended so badly, it might have been a good idea just to get your balance back to resume things as a mere friendship.
I will also pile on with the "long distance relationships aren't the best thing." I've had two. Both of them ended pretty badly, and the last one was actually abusive, with circumstances I will not go into. My current relationship is absolutely, purely local, and it suits me to the ground at this point. Also, we both have our own lives, I haven't stepped away from much of my own social life to be in this relationship, and I do not expect my partner to step away from theirs. And yes, stepping away from one's social life to a major degree is something of a cost of long distance relationship, because as noted, it's effectively like a vacation when there is a visitation.
Regarding the 30,000 in assistance, write it off as the cost of a lesson learned.
--
"You know how parents tell you everything's going to fine, but you know they're lying to make you feel better? Everything's going to be fine." - The Doctor