Yes, very much. Having a dysfunctional upbringing does not excuse being dysfunctional, it merely explains it.
Also, her treatment of you does release you from your promises to stand by her. She didn't stand by you in the resulting visitation, after all. Yes, I honestly believe that both parties should stand by each other.
Oh, and regarding reasonable options... cutting her loose and letting her cop the fallout is the only reasonable options. Anything else puts you into a bad position, either to be manipulated by her, or to be seen as meddling by others. It's not worth the hassle, even if your own sanity isn't at stake. Yes, there comes a time where, even if they've blown up their entire support mechanism, they need to rise or fall on their own.
Yes, it sounds cruel and harsh to even type this, but that might be the only way she'll learn she needs to get her house properly into order.
--
"You know how parents tell you everything's going to fine, but you know they're lying to make you feel better? Everything's going to be fine." - The Doctor
Also, her treatment of you does release you from your promises to stand by her. She didn't stand by you in the resulting visitation, after all. Yes, I honestly believe that both parties should stand by each other.
Oh, and regarding reasonable options... cutting her loose and letting her cop the fallout is the only reasonable options. Anything else puts you into a bad position, either to be manipulated by her, or to be seen as meddling by others. It's not worth the hassle, even if your own sanity isn't at stake. Yes, there comes a time where, even if they've blown up their entire support mechanism, they need to rise or fall on their own.
Yes, it sounds cruel and harsh to even type this, but that might be the only way she'll learn she needs to get her house properly into order.
--
"You know how parents tell you everything's going to fine, but you know they're lying to make you feel better? Everything's going to be fine." - The Doctor