And now for the flip-side and some brutal honesty.
There is indeed a lot of history and good memories involved with Derek. But he did have his faults - chief among which was that he had no real drive for his own sake. He had found the thing in life that he wanted to concentrate on and that was that. He lived in that world of Yamato and all his interests - his love of WWII history, jet fighters, and aerospace in general, battleships, carriers, naval warfare and aviation and a number of other odd assortment of hobbies were all tied into that world on some level. He had his niche and he wasn't going to change. I always wished he could see that he could get himself out of that rut - do something with his life - but keep his world at the same time. He just wasn't interested.
And that's ultimately what killed him, really. He never concentrated on his health when it would have done him some real good. He had nagging ailments going way back to even the time I first met him. Nothing serious when he was in his 20s and could bounce back from anything. But he never really took care of himself the way he should have and it just piled up until it reached critical mass about 6-7 years ago.
Part of the reason I drifted away - if I'm totally honest, is that it broke my heart to see where I knew he was going and I couldn't bear to see the decline. I preferred to think of him as he was during the good days. I kept in touch with him via email and other means. But I hadn't actually seen him in person since around 2004 or so. When I finally did see what had become of him as his health really declined I was in shock. He had mentioned ongoing health concerns, but I didn't really see how bad it was until early this year.
He did a lot of good for a lot of people via organizing anime fandom and being a sweet and kind guy and a good friend to all. But he didn't do much good for himself. And he's gone way too soon. He was only 51.
To be fair - I did warn him several times about where he was headed and he agreed in principle that he wasn't living healthily. He did have self-awareness that he had problems. But he just couldn't muster the will to do what needed to be done.
So I also believe he would approve of me telling you the following:
The lesson is - don't get too involved in your fantasy life.
LIVE, for God's sake!
There is indeed a lot of history and good memories involved with Derek. But he did have his faults - chief among which was that he had no real drive for his own sake. He had found the thing in life that he wanted to concentrate on and that was that. He lived in that world of Yamato and all his interests - his love of WWII history, jet fighters, and aerospace in general, battleships, carriers, naval warfare and aviation and a number of other odd assortment of hobbies were all tied into that world on some level. He had his niche and he wasn't going to change. I always wished he could see that he could get himself out of that rut - do something with his life - but keep his world at the same time. He just wasn't interested.
And that's ultimately what killed him, really. He never concentrated on his health when it would have done him some real good. He had nagging ailments going way back to even the time I first met him. Nothing serious when he was in his 20s and could bounce back from anything. But he never really took care of himself the way he should have and it just piled up until it reached critical mass about 6-7 years ago.
Part of the reason I drifted away - if I'm totally honest, is that it broke my heart to see where I knew he was going and I couldn't bear to see the decline. I preferred to think of him as he was during the good days. I kept in touch with him via email and other means. But I hadn't actually seen him in person since around 2004 or so. When I finally did see what had become of him as his health really declined I was in shock. He had mentioned ongoing health concerns, but I didn't really see how bad it was until early this year.
He did a lot of good for a lot of people via organizing anime fandom and being a sweet and kind guy and a good friend to all. But he didn't do much good for himself. And he's gone way too soon. He was only 51.
To be fair - I did warn him several times about where he was headed and he agreed in principle that he wasn't living healthily. He did have self-awareness that he had problems. But he just couldn't muster the will to do what needed to be done.
So I also believe he would approve of me telling you the following:
The lesson is - don't get too involved in your fantasy life.
LIVE, for God's sake!