You Might be a Redneck If ... (Feb edition)
... you can smoke a cigarette while taking a shower.
... your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
... there's a Nixon-Agnew sticker on your family car.
... you've yelled introductions from your toilet.
... Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
... your dog was ever paraded before a jury.
... your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
... you've ever begun a letter with "Dearest Bubba Jr."
... going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
... you use a ShamWow as a doily.
... you regularly light your cigarettes off a stovetop burner.
... you were texting during your driving test.
... you've ever been too drunk to fish.
... nothing on Hoarders shocks you.
... most of your family photos were taken by law enforcement.
... the only condiment on the dining room table is an economy size bottle of ketchup.
... you have a dedicated "beer fridge" in the garage.
... you've worn a tube top to a wedding.
... your sectional sofa didn't use to be.
... you think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
... you check your tire pressure daily but never check your blood pressure.
... you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
... you've driven over 500 miles with a deer on your hood.
... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
... your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
... you can smoke a cigarette while taking a shower.
... your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
... there's a Nixon-Agnew sticker on your family car.
... you've yelled introductions from your toilet.
... Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
... your dog was ever paraded before a jury.
... your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
... you've ever begun a letter with "Dearest Bubba Jr."
... going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
... you use a ShamWow as a doily.
... you regularly light your cigarettes off a stovetop burner.
... you were texting during your driving test.
... you've ever been too drunk to fish.
... nothing on Hoarders shocks you.
... most of your family photos were taken by law enforcement.
... the only condiment on the dining room table is an economy size bottle of ketchup.
... you have a dedicated "beer fridge" in the garage.
... you've worn a tube top to a wedding.
... your sectional sofa didn't use to be.
... you think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
... you check your tire pressure daily but never check your blood pressure.
... you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
... you've driven over 500 miles with a deer on your hood.
... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
... your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin