You Might be a Redneck If ... (June edition)
... strangers have to help you push your car out of an intersection at least once a week.... you smelled manure during your wedding.... Preparing a meal means disturbing a cat.... found coins form a significant portion of your income.... you've shot a possum without getting out of bed.... you need more than one shopping cart at the thrift store.... your vanity license plate is misspelled.... you know your wife's bra size but not her eye colour.... the person who stole your identity made a poor choice.... nobody wants to sit next to you at Little League games.... you've never been arrested with a shirt on.... you think the royal family is Count Chocula, Burger King and the Dukes of Hazard. (what? no Dairy Queen?)... you've ever "borrowed" a urine sample.... your pastor drives a monster truck.... cutting your fingernails is a two man job.... you've used duct tape over an open wound.... the National Guard is jealous of your firearms collection.... starting your car requires another car.... your plumbing gets mistaken for paranormal activity.... your best jacket has a hood.... you think Facebook is where the police keep their mug shots.... there are spit cups at your Bible study.... there's nothing skinny about your skinny-dipping.... your deck has been mistaken for a recycling center.... you've ever flashed your Costco card to impress a date.... you refuse to eat hushpuppies because you're a dog lover.
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
... strangers have to help you push your car out of an intersection at least once a week.... you smelled manure during your wedding.... Preparing a meal means disturbing a cat.... found coins form a significant portion of your income.... you've shot a possum without getting out of bed.... you need more than one shopping cart at the thrift store.... your vanity license plate is misspelled.... you know your wife's bra size but not her eye colour.... the person who stole your identity made a poor choice.... nobody wants to sit next to you at Little League games.... you've never been arrested with a shirt on.... you think the royal family is Count Chocula, Burger King and the Dukes of Hazard. (what? no Dairy Queen?)... you've ever "borrowed" a urine sample.... your pastor drives a monster truck.... cutting your fingernails is a two man job.... you've used duct tape over an open wound.... the National Guard is jealous of your firearms collection.... starting your car requires another car.... your plumbing gets mistaken for paranormal activity.... your best jacket has a hood.... you think Facebook is where the police keep their mug shots.... there are spit cups at your Bible study.... there's nothing skinny about your skinny-dipping.... your deck has been mistaken for a recycling center.... you've ever flashed your Costco card to impress a date.... you refuse to eat hushpuppies because you're a dog lover.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin