You Might be a Redneck If ...
... one car leaving your driveway involves another five being moved.... someone mentions your stepdad and you reply, "Which one?"... you responded "Seriously?" during your wedding vows.... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.... you've ever mooned somebody from a ferris wheel.... every meal you eat involves something in a bun.... there are bumper stickers on your coffee table.... you were baptized on a Slip'N Slide.... you've ever backed up a quarter mile to retrieve a stray mattress.... your place of business is towed behind your truck.... the deciding factor when buying a home is its proximity to a liquor store.... every window in your home is covered with muddy paw prints.... the photo lab calls the police after developing your film.... your car has seat covers over seat covers.... your wedding cake was decorated with Cheez Whiz.... your bra doubles as a purse.... the curtains in your living room are camouflage.... your dream car only makes left turns.... you want your Camaro and Coors Light mentioned on your tombstone.... any of your pets came with the house.... some of the faces on your family reunion video have been digitally blurred.... the gas in your riding mower was previously in your bass boat and before that in your truck.... you've cleared a space in your yard for UFOs to land.... you own more cars than socks.... what the world sees as roadkill, you see as new boots.... everything in your freezer was caught, not bought.... more than one person yelled "Don't do it!" durring your wedding vows.
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
... one car leaving your driveway involves another five being moved.... someone mentions your stepdad and you reply, "Which one?"... you responded "Seriously?" during your wedding vows.... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.... you've ever mooned somebody from a ferris wheel.... every meal you eat involves something in a bun.... there are bumper stickers on your coffee table.... you were baptized on a Slip'N Slide.... you've ever backed up a quarter mile to retrieve a stray mattress.... your place of business is towed behind your truck.... the deciding factor when buying a home is its proximity to a liquor store.... every window in your home is covered with muddy paw prints.... the photo lab calls the police after developing your film.... your car has seat covers over seat covers.... your wedding cake was decorated with Cheez Whiz.... your bra doubles as a purse.... the curtains in your living room are camouflage.... your dream car only makes left turns.... you want your Camaro and Coors Light mentioned on your tombstone.... any of your pets came with the house.... some of the faces on your family reunion video have been digitally blurred.... the gas in your riding mower was previously in your bass boat and before that in your truck.... you've cleared a space in your yard for UFOs to land.... you own more cars than socks.... what the world sees as roadkill, you see as new boots.... everything in your freezer was caught, not bought.... more than one person yelled "Don't do it!" durring your wedding vows.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin