Oh yeah, Stack Overflow is one of my go-to resources for questions like these. And since posting this I got some idea of the cause of the problem, though mainly as a gestalt effect of a lot of articles from a lot of places. As a result I've changed the approach I'm using. I'm not quite done with the implementation yet, but I'm confident it will work -- of course, though, I changed out one (largish, game-breaking) problem for another (smaller, far less critical) problem in the process. The new problem is quite surmountable, it's just annoying that it exists.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.