The Pintman
11-25-2017, 06:40 PM (This post was last modified: 11-27-2017, 08:20 AM by Bob Schroeck.)
11-25-2017, 06:40 PM (This post was last modified: 11-27-2017, 08:20 AM by Bob Schroeck.)
There's a peculiar kind of demon here in Ireland.
He's called, The Pintman.
And now, The Pintman has the look about him of an elderly man with thinning hair and a thick gut, hidden behind an old woollen jumper and a thin grey jacket. He wears the same bloody chino's your oulfella once wore.
Now, you'll meet this fellow when you're alone in the pub one weekday afternoon. Everyone else is at work except for the gentleman serving the drinks and yourself on your day off. Until he enters the bar and conspicuously sits down on the stool beside you and says the one phrase that'll identify him.
"Ah sure, I don't go at the drink very often but when I go at it I do go at it very hard."
Onla Pintman will ever say this. And when he's got your attention, he makes his offer.
"Can I get you a pint?"
Under no circumstances should you ever accept a pint, from The Pintman
The Pintman is a demon to the round's system. And he knows that you'll be socially obligated to buy him a pint in return.
And so, he will buy you the next one...
And you in turn will by him one, pinned by the obligation, lest hecall you out for the stinge you want to be.
And it'll continue up until he's had 40 pints or more, or you collapse with the drunkeness on the floor.
And when he's done, he'll leave you with the realisation that, even do you don't drink that often, but you did go at the drink fairly hard this time..
The next afternoon, you'll wander into the pub with your old jumper on and a pair of chinos and sit yourself right down conspicuously beside the only other person in the bar. And you'll remember your encounter with The Pintman, and the words will spill from your lips.
"Ah sure, I don't go at the drink very often but when I go at it I do go at it very hard when he does."
And when your hapless victim turns to face, you'll make your offer.
"Can I get you a pint?"
The only way to avoid the curse of The Pintman, and to keep from becoming a Pintman yourself is to wait until he makes his first offer of a pint.
When he does, all you need to to is tell him that you're "Staying on your own," then order yourself a packet of crisps.
If you say that, you won't get trapped in The Pintman's round - and you'll be treated to the spectacle of a demon drinking 40 pints or more, while you crunch on your crisps and marvel at the ability of the drink to dissapear.
He's called, The Pintman.
And now, The Pintman has the look about him of an elderly man with thinning hair and a thick gut, hidden behind an old woollen jumper and a thin grey jacket. He wears the same bloody chino's your oulfella once wore.
Now, you'll meet this fellow when you're alone in the pub one weekday afternoon. Everyone else is at work except for the gentleman serving the drinks and yourself on your day off. Until he enters the bar and conspicuously sits down on the stool beside you and says the one phrase that'll identify him.
"Ah sure, I don't go at the drink very often but when I go at it I do go at it very hard."
Onla Pintman will ever say this. And when he's got your attention, he makes his offer.
"Can I get you a pint?"
Under no circumstances should you ever accept a pint, from The Pintman
The Pintman is a demon to the round's system. And he knows that you'll be socially obligated to buy him a pint in return.
And so, he will buy you the next one...
And you in turn will by him one, pinned by the obligation, lest hecall you out for the stinge you want to be.
And it'll continue up until he's had 40 pints or more, or you collapse with the drunkeness on the floor.
And when he's done, he'll leave you with the realisation that, even do you don't drink that often, but you did go at the drink fairly hard this time..
The next afternoon, you'll wander into the pub with your old jumper on and a pair of chinos and sit yourself right down conspicuously beside the only other person in the bar. And you'll remember your encounter with The Pintman, and the words will spill from your lips.
"Ah sure, I don't go at the drink very often but when I go at it I do go at it very hard when he does."
And when your hapless victim turns to face, you'll make your offer.
"Can I get you a pint?"
The only way to avoid the curse of The Pintman, and to keep from becoming a Pintman yourself is to wait until he makes his first offer of a pint.
When he does, all you need to to is tell him that you're "Staying on your own," then order yourself a packet of crisps.
If you say that, you won't get trapped in The Pintman's round - and you'll be treated to the spectacle of a demon drinking 40 pints or more, while you crunch on your crisps and marvel at the ability of the drink to dissapear.
I love the smell of rotaries in the morning. You know one time, I got to work early, before the rush hour. I walked through the empty carpark, I didn't see one bloody Prius or Golf. And that smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole carpark, smelled like.... ....speed.
One day they're going to ban them.