Yeah. Venting is kind of the only thing I can do. Thanks for being here for that, guys. Really, it's just the stress of everything; so many things I can't do anything about. And stress is the mind-killer.
I mean, I realize that things aren't objectively bad. I have a home, and I have a pretty well paying job that's not going to disappear any time soon. The job is getting a little more stressful because of the rapid expansion -- I'm still working this hard in December? But the latest guy I recruited is going to help us recruit a lot more, since his whole division at the last job is getting laid off. So hopefully we'll be much better off next year, even though I probably get to be the training guy too. I basically started in the deep end, and am trying to avoid that for others.
Everyone is still alive, if in some degree of pain. There's still time to say things, still a chance to get better for some of us. But everyone is a little on edge.
The fire is at 230000 acres (930 km²) now. We could open the windows last night and let the cool air in, but today, I can't even see clearly across my back yard.
I've been thinking about my blog, where I write up some observations for Hatsuhi no De. The secret there being that it's not written as instantaneous observations as it claims to be, but comes through meditations over a couple of weeks, not just New Year's Day. It usually has a sense of mono no aware, as such a thing would by its nature, but usually life isn't so in your face about loss as a giant freaking fire.
Like, this was going to be the year when I actually looked for a girlfriend seriously, get a social life and all. But socializing is tiring even when it's going well, and I just haven't gotten out nearly as much as I hoped. Just kind of a waste of a year in general, and not a good waste.
P.S. If you're a Perl programmer send me a resume if you're looking for remote work. I'm not this annoying to work with all of the time, really.
I mean, I realize that things aren't objectively bad. I have a home, and I have a pretty well paying job that's not going to disappear any time soon. The job is getting a little more stressful because of the rapid expansion -- I'm still working this hard in December? But the latest guy I recruited is going to help us recruit a lot more, since his whole division at the last job is getting laid off. So hopefully we'll be much better off next year, even though I probably get to be the training guy too. I basically started in the deep end, and am trying to avoid that for others.
Everyone is still alive, if in some degree of pain. There's still time to say things, still a chance to get better for some of us. But everyone is a little on edge.
The fire is at 230000 acres (930 km²) now. We could open the windows last night and let the cool air in, but today, I can't even see clearly across my back yard.
I've been thinking about my blog, where I write up some observations for Hatsuhi no De. The secret there being that it's not written as instantaneous observations as it claims to be, but comes through meditations over a couple of weeks, not just New Year's Day. It usually has a sense of mono no aware, as such a thing would by its nature, but usually life isn't so in your face about loss as a giant freaking fire.
Like, this was going to be the year when I actually looked for a girlfriend seriously, get a social life and all. But socializing is tiring even when it's going well, and I just haven't gotten out nearly as much as I hoped. Just kind of a waste of a year in general, and not a good waste.
P.S. If you're a Perl programmer send me a resume if you're looking for remote work. I'm not this annoying to work with all of the time, really.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto