Lumenis Labyrinthus
It had to be the strangest job posting I had ever seen.
Now, as far as I knew, being an anime fan is not a job. If it was a real job, well, I'd've been raking in the big bucks instead of looking through a job search site. It couldn't be a translator gig, because the language experience is optional. And why would one need to live on-site if it was some sort of focus group? Maybe it was for an idol group -- gotta keep the idoru separate and pure. Except there was no ask for talent either, and Auto-tune can't cover all the sins.
I did have some experience in college with student government and teaching. And I was definitely an anime fan. And hey, I needed a job. Even if I couldn't figure out what the job actually was. I sent a resume in, just in case, and promptly forgot about it.
Single undine Akari Mizunashi had spent all afternoon wandering through the paths, waterways, and islands of Neo-Venezia. She had retraced her steps through five of the mysteries of the city, places where the boundary to the spirit world was open, and she was returning to the sixth. The whole day was spent in pursuit of the seventh mystery, a larger-than-life black cat spirit, Cait Sìth.
Cait Sìth was the patron of Neo-Venezia, and someone who Akari had met several times before, but was still very much a mystery to her. Taller and larger than her, the giant cat spirit was always kind to Akari, even if he was a little bit fey. So she had taken this day to row across the city, searching high and low, President Aria her only companion.
As they were walking back up the alley where the Stone of Misfortune lay, the white tomcat plopped down on his butt and scratched behind his ears. He had a pretty big head, so there was a lot of space to scratch. But Akari continued on to her goal.
The svelte young woman in her white and blue undine's uniform stared down at the Stone one more time. It was a chunk of dirty limestone, a little out of place among the basalt paving stones of the alleyway. Akari still felt that there was some power in this place, even though she had been here earlier today without incident. So she decided to take a chance with this mystery and risk its supposed curse once again.
Akari hopped on the Stone of Misfortune one final time, her long pink twintails bouncing right behind. And everything was still normal.
"Of course, nothing happened," she mumbled. "Still kind of a letdown, though." It's just a wide stone on the walkway, Alice had told her that. But she somehow expected something more.
And then, sticking out of the crack in the stones at her feet, an envelope caught Akari's attention. She bent down and picked it up. The envelope had no writing on the outside, but was adorned by a stylized cat's pawprint embossed in gold. And inside?
Seven tickets for the Galaxy Express. One for each wonder of Neo-Venezia she had encountered. Akari's jaw dropped all the way open, staring blankly at the treasure she held. "Whoa. He really came -- Cait Sìth!"
"Nyu!"
She read the tickets, "Wednesday morning, 3AM. That's tomorrow night. President Aria, let's go invite everyone else!"
"Punyuu," Aria agreed.
By the following evening, Akari was able to gather her friends and ostensible traveling companions to a trattoria. All six were dressed in the uniforms of an undine: a long, slender white dress, with short sleeves for summer, a square sailor collar in the back, and a bow. But they were slightly different: Akari and Alicia's dresses had the ultramarine lines of Aria Company, Aika and Akira's raiment had the amaranth markings and bow of Himeya, and the orange pattern on Alice and Athena's clothes was the trademark of Orange Planet. The seventh traveller, President Aria, wore only an Aria company sailor's cap, a smaller version of the one worn by his coworkers. For cats, every day is No Pants Day.
They sat on the patio outside the restaurant, on a warm spring night. While the undines carboloaded on tonight's special, a shrimp pasta, the one with a long blonde French braid spoke up. "I think this is all rather exciting, don't you? A train trip to the stars," Alicia Florence said.
"Yeah. My trainee never gets me anything, and yours gets me a magical train ride. Where did I go wrong in my teaching?" Akira Ferrari moaned. The tallest of all of the women here assembled, her long dark chestnut hair framed her fair face.
Said trainee was a little more skeptical. "So let me get this straight. You want us to use these strange tickets you got at the Stone of Misfortune." Wearing a sly smile, Aika pointed her fork towards Akari. "Aren't you just spreading your bad luck to all of us?"
"But the Stone wasn't unlucky at all. At first it seemed unlucky, because I couldn't find Cait Sìth anywhere. But as I revisited each place, I saw its beauty and felt the happy memories wash over me. I think I learned that misfortune turns into good luck if you just look hard enough!"
"Embarrassing comments are prohibited!"
"She's right, you know." Akira rebuked her trainee. "Luck is a big part of success, but you can work hard and make your own luck."
"That may be so, but I still think this is inviting disaster."
"Hoheee," Akari intoned.
Aika Granzchesta, a girl with short hair so dark that the reflected light of the trattoria's lamps made it indigo, still wasn't satisfied. Aika asked, "Well, what do you think, Alice? Don't you think it's risky?"
The green haired teenager replied, "I think someone is playing a practical joke on all of you. I'm mainly going to see how stupid we look trying to catch a phantom train in the dead the night."
"Awww, don't be like that," Akari complained as her let her body go limp.
As usual, Athena Glory didn't have much to say. She just stared across the canal, imagining what a Galaxy Express might be like. Real or not, her imagination of a space-faring train seemed sweet enough to savor. The dusky-skinned, woman absently picked up a shrimp with her fork -- and it promptly slid off onto the stone of the campo below. Athena's annoyed frown came back again.
President Aria, on the other hand, employed the ten second rule outside as well as inside, and helped himself to a shrimp. Waving his tail, he decided that misfortune for some people can be fortune for others.
It was a quiet night in Neo Venezia, as they usually were. The lights of the city dim in the wee hours, leaving the city to be lit by starlight, with a little help from Phobos as it flowed across the Aquatic sky.
The city seemed a bit more sinister than in the daytime, as if in another world from the daytime. The canals looked as black as the night sky above, and the lion statues seemed just a little more predatory than in the day.
Six undines strolled through the streets of this city, led by a white cat with striking blue eyes. President Aria was wearing a tall, cylindrical fur toque -- which for his size was essentially an elongated pillbox hat -- and a matching cloak of sable with a pair of pompons hanging from the tie. He made no sound, as appropriate on a mission such as this. The same could not be said of his human companions, who tended to be a noisy bunch without even realizing it.
"It's so quiet," Aika whispered.
Alice added, "Maybe too quiet. Like... it's unnaturally still."
Aika shivered. "Scary remarks are forbidden." Then from behind them came the sound of a sudden crash. "Gaah what was that?"
Athena picked herself off the ground, and dusted off her dress. "Sorry, it's really dark, I didn't see that stone."
"Ara ara." Alicia waited a moment before commenting, "You know, this is still the same city you all know. It's just at late night Neo Venezia wears a different face. But to really know a person or a place, you need to see all sides of it. Good and bad, sweet and scary, and know that they are one and the same."
The party of undines turned onto one calle, and then onto another, as they journeyed closer to the edge of the city. Walking past red-roofed stone buildings, and across arched bridges, they never even got close to lost in the dim light. Each of them knew the waterways of the city like the back of their hands. But Akira had memorized every alley and campo of her city too, so it was she who lead them through Venetian streets at their most serene hour.
They pushed past the rail station, which was closed for the night, and pressed further outward. Finally, they arrived at the place where the train tracks entered the city, at the edge of the Ponte della Libertà.
"This is too late to be out." Alice Carroll yawned.
Athena replied with a sympathetic yawn.
Akari, on the other hand, had a gleeful grin. She was almost shaking with excitement.
"And... nothing's happening." Aika noted.
"I'm sure magical trains are very punctual, Aika." Alicia noted. "Let's just wait and find out."
They stood in the narrow street near the steel tracks, waiting for 3AM to arrive. The first thing they noticed was a dim light down the length of the bridge, and then the subtle sound of a train rolling across the tracks.
Suddenly, it seemed like the train was right on top of them. A steam locomotive rolled into the street, swiftly followed by a coal car and six wooden passenger cars.
Akari said, "Wow, this is a bigger train than last time!" Indeed, it barely fit in the street; perhaps this time was a special service? She shivered in anticipation.
Alice wondered where on Earth they had gotten the mineral coal for the coal car, because there sure wasn't any on Aqua. She had learned that much last Christmas, when she had put a lump of charcoal in her own stocking. "It's really the Galaxy Express," she concluded.
Suddenly, the empty street was filled with all manner of cats, queued up to ride the train. A burly conductor in a blue uniform, his face completely shaded by his railroad cap, began looking over everyone's tickets and admitting everyone on the train.
Alicia warned, "It looks like we had better get in line if we want a seat. I didn't know your Galaxy Express would be so popular."
Everyone had a ticket in mouth or hand this time, so the line to ride the train moved quickly. Akari proudly showed her ticket to the imposing conductor, gave a big grin to her friend, and jumped aboard. All the other humans moved aboard a little more gingerly -- something about the conductor didn't seem quite right, and he was quite large, so they decided they had better be polite.
What they found on board was just as otherwordly. For a train that could supposedly sail the stars, the decor looked positively antique, with wooden furniture and two-pane sliding windows on the walls. Its passenger cars had green upholstered bench seats on each side of the aisle, like something out of the golden age of rail travel.2
Moreover, it was a train full of cats: Persian and Martian, Mau and Manx. Some playful, some stretched out sleeping on the upholstery, some sitting pretty as they watched the odd humans in their midst. Others rubbing against each other in greeting. One even carried a sausage in its jaws, a late-night snack for the commute.
The undines were able to find a set of seats across from each other, so that everyone could see each other. Actually, a pair of gingers were already in one of the seats, but they simply hopped up to the luggage rack above and curled up there.
"You finally got to meet him!" Akari declared.
"Meet who?" Alice asked.
"Cait Sìth, of course!" Blank stares. "You know, the conductor."
"That was him?"
"He didn't look like a cat," Aika reasoned. "Actually, did he even have a face?"
"Don't worry, you'll see," Akari assured her friends. And then the train's engine started up again. The slow groan of the first few cranks of the wheels turned into a growl as the locomotive lurched to life.
The Galaxy Express proceeded out of its makeshift station backwards, with the locomotive pushing from behind -- Venice being a terminal station. It cruised along the Ponte della Libertà at a slow pace, before coming to a soft halt a couple kilometers out of the city.
Changing directions, the locomotive began pulling the train from the front. The train soon switched tracks in the middle of the bridge, turning off the side of the bridge onto an little-used set of tracks. The train dropped down to the waterline, and set off to the southwest. The Galaxy Express skimmed the surface of the lagoon, running on rails just below the surface of the water. A long cloud of spray thrown off the wheels glittered in the city light. And still the train accelerated.
Finally, as the train roared across the water at 88 miles per hour, Engine C6250 blew its whistle, and the train lurched into the sky.
"Ara ara ara!" said Alicia with delight.
The rest of the undines left it at that, for there were no words that could capture the experience better.
The train pulled onward and upward, rushing through the Aquatic sky. It rushed past the Kasei Lagoon and farmland of the Sacra Mensa, and rushed above the deep darkness of the trees of the Silva Arsia.
"Look, that's Noctis City!"
"So that must be Nieuw Amsterdam, right there." Aika pointed.
"I've never been so high before. Amazing."
"I landed on Aqua in the daytime," Akari said, "but the night is beautiful too."
And still the Galaxy Express climbed skyward, gaining speed. After a few more minutes, the disc of Aqua started to resolve below them, with a crescent of light off to the east. The train soared over 70 kilometers over Aqua, far above the stratosphere.
Alicia gazed out the window to the world below. "From up here, everything seems so small, doesn't it. Everything in our lives, it's all down there in those few lights."
"It's like we get to leave our whole world behind," said Akira, "just for a night."
"Like a beautiful dream." Athena's yawn fogged the window, as it was terribly late for her, but she was riveted nonetheless.
The train started rattling a bit, and then rolled quickly from side-to-side. Alice was nearly rocked off her seat, but Athena quickly pulled her back to her seat. The bulk of the feline passengers tossed from their seats landed on their feet -- the few exceptions fell over, but then put on an expression as if they had always intended to fall over.
Outside, it almost looked like the train had gone into a tunnel, as impossible as that would be. Then the scene through the windows radiated brilliant light, with streaks of reds, greens, blues, and oranges dancing around the train. The ride smoothed, and everyone inside stared at the spectacle, felines included.
"So many colors, so pretty!" Akari had been a fan of colors and shapes since she was an infant, but not many shows were as good as this one.
The train swerved left, then right, then left through the passage. After two minutes, the lights faded as quickly as they came, as the train exited the tunnel. No one was surprised at the jolt running through the train this time, as it exited back to normal space.
Out the window lay a planet, this one done up in the same whites and blues as Aqua. But a little less orange, and a little more yellow and green. Akari blurted, "Ohmigosh, it's Manhome! I thought I would never see her again."
"Your planet looks beautiful too, Akari." Alicia gave her an innocent smile.
"More beautiful that I remembered."
Had she remembered a little better, she might have noticed a few things were different on planet Earth, like the rather conspicuous absence of Lake Qattara.
The locomotive's engine slowed, letting the train start coasting down towards the planet below. The Galaxy Express veered west-by-northwest, crossing Asia Minor in just a few minutes and heading into the Balkans.
"Is that Italy?" Alice asked. "That's a boot, right?"
"Yes. And there's where old Venice used to be, before she sunk beneath the waves." Akira pointed towards the northern Adriatic, on Italy's east coast. From this altitude, it was impossible for the naked eye to see that she was pointing at Venice, very much not submerged.
They descended further and further into the twilight. Soon, they were afforded a view of the City of Lights just before the early morning washed out the lights below. And still they descended, crossing the English Channel and above the island of Britain. By this time, they could make out the outlines of roads and villages by the pattern the lights formed below.
"It looks like we're landing. Where are we landing, Akari?" Alicia asked.
"Um what was that place called again?"
"Oh come on, you're our Manhome expert." Aika chided. "What kind of tour guide are you?"
"Oh right!" Akari hit her fist against the seat. "It's called Wales. It's like part of England or something."
"Eh?" wondered Alice.
"Um... Further ahead, you can see the Atlantic Ocean. It's Manhome's second biggest ocean, and home to Neo Atlantis. It has the world's longest mountain chain, the Mid-Ocean Ridge, which you can't see because it's dark. And under water a really long way." Akari sighed. An undine was supposed to be unflappable in any situation, but this situation was maybe a little too far out.
"Brava, Akari." Alicia giggled.
The train dipped down towards a dimmer region of the Welsh countryside, in a rugged land with mountains and lakes below. Finally, the Galaxy Express veered a hard left, lining itself up with the train tracks below. It gingerly approached the ground. And then a series of clangs rang out throughout the train with small bumps to the passengers as it touched wheel to rail.
Having landed in a straight spot, the 999 acted as a normal train, leading them through the twists and turns of a 10 minute ride through the twilit countryside. Finally the train began to slow, and all of its passengers began to stir, even those who had been cat napping.
The train came to a stop at a simple rail platform, and almost immediately, the feline passengers began leaping for the ground. Clear black letters on a white sign declared the name of the village: "ULTHAR".
Beyond the short wooden covered walkway was a small station building, barely larger than a small cottage. The building of flat fieldstone was completely empty at this hour; the only staff on hand was the feline stationmaster, a tabby named Beatrice.
"Well, we've come all this way. Shall we go out and explore?" Akira asked.
"Sure!" Akari stood up, dusting the cat hair off her dress. "I've never been anywhere as far away as Wales before!"
Aika just gave her a strange look for that remark.
They joined the flow of cats jumping out the doors, but somehow ended up as the last passengers to exit anyway.
"What a cute village!" said Akari, looking down towards a collection of cottages on the banks of a lake.
"Hey, look at that." Alice pointed to a wooden sign cut into the shape of a cat, which read "Welcome to Ulthar, City of Cats".
"Wow, how cool," Alicia said. "No wonder we ended up here." They started walking up the platform towards the station house to explore the town. Then the steam engine came back to life, and everyone suddenly stopped.
"Wait, we can't get left behind!" Akari raced back to the train, followed by the rest of her friends. But the conductor stepped out, hand spread out to block her reboarding. "We still have our tickets," she cried.
The conductor shrugged, then removed his cap. Appearing underneath it was a large black cat face, with pink ears and golden slitted eyes.
"Cait Sìth!" Aika stopped in her tracks. The others did too, not sure how to react to such an august presence.
Akari pleaded, "We can't board? Did we break the rules?"
The large cat shook his head in the negative.
"Why can't we go home?"
Cait Sìth looked at Akari with a sad face. And then he scooped her up with his massive paws, and gave her a warm embrace.
"I understand. We can't go back, can we?"
"Can't go back?" Aika yelped.
"Will I see you again?"
Cait Sìth answered with a feline smile -- and then gave Akari a giant lick on her face.
"Nyuuuuu…" Aria was stunned.
The sound of the train whistle brought him to his senses again, by which time, Cait Sìth was already aboard the train. The steam engine started revving up.
"Good-bye! Until next time!" Akari waved vigorously. Alicia joined her with a regal wave, which caused Akira to wave goodbye as well.
They all stood there for a moment alongside the tracks, until Akari finally asked the obvious question. "So, what do we do now?"
"Alicia, your trainee got us stuck on another planet. Perhaps you need to review your teaching methods," Akira accused.
"Ara ara ara," replied a flustered Alicia.
"I got this. This is all totally a dream. All we need to do is wake up all at the same time," Aika explained. "Okay, wake up on the count of one, two, three!" Aika pinched herself and her neighbor.
"Ow, why did you pinch me!?" Alice grumbled.
"You looked like you need to wake up the most."
Athena yawned again.
"She's the one you needed to pinch!"
"Ok, one, two, three!" Aika pinched both Athena and Alice this time with a sly smile.
"Stop that!"
Beatrice walked over to the humans, and rubbed her body against Akari. This caused a bit of a stir below knee-level until Aria got acquainted with her.
The humans were getting hopelessly lost at her station lately, so she led them behind the train station towards the village. The tabby with a little blue cap stopped as soon as they all reached the main road.
"So... we just wait here?" Alicia asked Beatrice.
"Mew."
A minute later, they heard the low roar of a car engine approaching. A long black limousine pulled up to the station, and a tall Englishman with coal-black hair stepped out.
"I apologize for my tardiness, but traffic on the M25 was absolute Hell," he said with a sardonic smile. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Sebastian, butler to the Earl Phantomhive. Welcome to Earth."
"Earth?" Akira was incredulous, "It hasn't been called that since..."
"Ah, quite. I also welcome you to the year 2016." He took a minute to savor the women's shock, then continued. "Seeing as you all are so recently arrived, may I extend my lord's invitation and offer the hospitality of Phantomhive Manor?"
Sebastian cut quite a striking figure in his dapper suit and tie -- modern of course, as a proper suit with tails attracted too much attention in this day and age. Akari found him attractive to look at, but somehow, in a way she didn't understand, there was something repulsive about him too. He had only shown kindness, but she felt something nonetheless.
Sebastian in return assessed the party of six undines with his practiced grace, but raised an eyebrow at Akari, as if he had seen something interesting. "As of late, many people have been arriving as you have done, through space-time anomalies, and my lord is one of those empowered by the Crown to accomodate new Arrivals. I assure you, nothing will happen to you that will demean the honor of the Phantomhive name."
"You got beds?" Alice let out a long yawn, her tiredness finally winning the war against her excitement.
"But of course. Please, enter the limousine, and I will convey you all to the manor. The path which you must take has been prepared for you."
They all entered the back of the limousine: Alicia graciously, Athena ungracefully, Akari warily, Alice sleepily, with Aika and Akira both distracted by the hot guy. Sebastian revved the motor, and sped away.
Sebastian brought a tray of tea to this sextet of women with strange hair colors and odd dress-like uniforms. That description would cover a lot of the Arrivals he had been meeting lately, but for this time, it was fortunately the most unusual thing about the women in the drawing room. Well, that and the Mars thing, but a human is still a human. Their relative normalcy would make the next step much easier, so he had room to improvise.
Pouring a cup, he asked the freshly-rested undines, "I realize that you all are a very long way away from home, but do you have any idea where on Earth where you'd like to settle?"
Akari thought about her history, and realized that if it was the 21st century, it might still exist. "We want to go to Venice," she said in a matter of fact tone. "We are undines, the water is our life blood, the gondola, our second home. Venice is where our hearts will sing."
"Embarrassing remarks are forbidden", chided Aika.
"Ara ara ara." The tall blonde woman, Alicia, was impressed at her charge's speech. "Yes, I do believe that we would all flourish in the canals of Venice."
Akira added, "Right. Give a prima undine a gondola and she can make it for sure."
"I believe that can be arranged. Well, ladies, I thank you for bearing with all of my intrusive questions. I shall do my best to find appropriate accommodation for you all. I assure you, I will find you one Hell of a place to live."
"Don't mention it," Alicia said sweetly. "I appreciate all of your help."
After taking his leave, Sebastian called the real estate agent, and told them they needed another place, this time in Venice.
The agent immediately began looking for an apartment building near Venice, California. Sure, Snapchat was buying all of the real estate there now, but this Lord Phantomhive guy was loaded, so he thought he'd be able to find a decent building anyway.
"Sorry, milord. I was just thinking about how of all of the Nazis' evil inventions, none is so insidious as the Autobahn. It lures you in with the promise of speed, but every morning and evening the motorway inflicts suffering on those mortals who travel. Every day, they pollute their own homes in an effort to live in a better neighborhood. Truly, it is exquisite."
"Are you quite finished?" Ciel huffed. "Hey! Get out of our way, commoner!"
"Ah yes, road rage. That's the best part!"
September 7, 2018
Ventura, California
It had to be the strangest job posting I had ever seen.
Quote:WANTED: ANIME FANS
Requirements: Social skills (no otaku or hiki please), willing to live on-site
Optional: Japanese language, experience coordinating college students
Benefits: On-site housing in multiple localities, medical, dental
Now, as far as I knew, being an anime fan is not a job. If it was a real job, well, I'd've been raking in the big bucks instead of looking through a job search site. It couldn't be a translator gig, because the language experience is optional. And why would one need to live on-site if it was some sort of focus group? Maybe it was for an idol group -- gotta keep the idoru separate and pure. Except there was no ask for talent either, and Auto-tune can't cover all the sins.
I did have some experience in college with student government and teaching. And I was definitely an anime fan. And hey, I needed a job. Even if I couldn't figure out what the job actually was. I sent a resume in, just in case, and promptly forgot about it.
Neo Venezia, Neo Adriatic Sea (former Kasei Valles)
Aqua Calendar 76, Month 6, Sol 8, 16:33
(June 9, 2303 A.D.)
Single undine Akari Mizunashi had spent all afternoon wandering through the paths, waterways, and islands of Neo-Venezia. She had retraced her steps through five of the mysteries of the city, places where the boundary to the spirit world was open, and she was returning to the sixth. The whole day was spent in pursuit of the seventh mystery, a larger-than-life black cat spirit, Cait Sìth.
Cait Sìth was the patron of Neo-Venezia, and someone who Akari had met several times before, but was still very much a mystery to her. Taller and larger than her, the giant cat spirit was always kind to Akari, even if he was a little bit fey. So she had taken this day to row across the city, searching high and low, President Aria her only companion.
As they were walking back up the alley where the Stone of Misfortune lay, the white tomcat plopped down on his butt and scratched behind his ears. He had a pretty big head, so there was a lot of space to scratch. But Akari continued on to her goal.
The svelte young woman in her white and blue undine's uniform stared down at the Stone one more time. It was a chunk of dirty limestone, a little out of place among the basalt paving stones of the alleyway. Akari still felt that there was some power in this place, even though she had been here earlier today without incident. So she decided to take a chance with this mystery and risk its supposed curse once again.
Akari hopped on the Stone of Misfortune one final time, her long pink twintails bouncing right behind. And everything was still normal.
"Of course, nothing happened," she mumbled. "Still kind of a letdown, though." It's just a wide stone on the walkway, Alice had told her that. But she somehow expected something more.
And then, sticking out of the crack in the stones at her feet, an envelope caught Akari's attention. She bent down and picked it up. The envelope had no writing on the outside, but was adorned by a stylized cat's pawprint embossed in gold. And inside?
Seven tickets for the Galaxy Express. One for each wonder of Neo-Venezia she had encountered. Akari's jaw dropped all the way open, staring blankly at the treasure she held. "Whoa. He really came -- Cait Sìth!"
"Nyu!"
She read the tickets, "Wednesday morning, 3AM. That's tomorrow night. President Aria, let's go invite everyone else!"
"Punyuu," Aria agreed.
By the following evening, Akari was able to gather her friends and ostensible traveling companions to a trattoria. All six were dressed in the uniforms of an undine: a long, slender white dress, with short sleeves for summer, a square sailor collar in the back, and a bow. But they were slightly different: Akari and Alicia's dresses had the ultramarine lines of Aria Company, Aika and Akira's raiment had the amaranth markings and bow of Himeya, and the orange pattern on Alice and Athena's clothes was the trademark of Orange Planet. The seventh traveller, President Aria, wore only an Aria company sailor's cap, a smaller version of the one worn by his coworkers. For cats, every day is No Pants Day.
They sat on the patio outside the restaurant, on a warm spring night. While the undines carboloaded on tonight's special, a shrimp pasta, the one with a long blonde French braid spoke up. "I think this is all rather exciting, don't you? A train trip to the stars," Alicia Florence said.
"Yeah. My trainee never gets me anything, and yours gets me a magical train ride. Where did I go wrong in my teaching?" Akira Ferrari moaned. The tallest of all of the women here assembled, her long dark chestnut hair framed her fair face.
Said trainee was a little more skeptical. "So let me get this straight. You want us to use these strange tickets you got at the Stone of Misfortune." Wearing a sly smile, Aika pointed her fork towards Akari. "Aren't you just spreading your bad luck to all of us?"
"But the Stone wasn't unlucky at all. At first it seemed unlucky, because I couldn't find Cait Sìth anywhere. But as I revisited each place, I saw its beauty and felt the happy memories wash over me. I think I learned that misfortune turns into good luck if you just look hard enough!"
"Embarrassing comments are prohibited!"
"She's right, you know." Akira rebuked her trainee. "Luck is a big part of success, but you can work hard and make your own luck."
"That may be so, but I still think this is inviting disaster."
"Hoheee," Akari intoned.
Aika Granzchesta, a girl with short hair so dark that the reflected light of the trattoria's lamps made it indigo, still wasn't satisfied. Aika asked, "Well, what do you think, Alice? Don't you think it's risky?"
The green haired teenager replied, "I think someone is playing a practical joke on all of you. I'm mainly going to see how stupid we look trying to catch a phantom train in the dead the night."
"Awww, don't be like that," Akari complained as her let her body go limp.
As usual, Athena Glory didn't have much to say. She just stared across the canal, imagining what a Galaxy Express might be like. Real or not, her imagination of a space-faring train seemed sweet enough to savor. The dusky-skinned, woman absently picked up a shrimp with her fork -- and it promptly slid off onto the stone of the campo below. Athena's annoyed frown came back again.
President Aria, on the other hand, employed the ten second rule outside as well as inside, and helped himself to a shrimp. Waving his tail, he decided that misfortune for some people can be fortune for others.
A.C. 76, Month 6, Sol 10, 02:40
Calle Schiaparelli
It was a quiet night in Neo Venezia, as they usually were. The lights of the city dim in the wee hours, leaving the city to be lit by starlight, with a little help from Phobos as it flowed across the Aquatic sky.
The city seemed a bit more sinister than in the daytime, as if in another world from the daytime. The canals looked as black as the night sky above, and the lion statues seemed just a little more predatory than in the day.
Six undines strolled through the streets of this city, led by a white cat with striking blue eyes. President Aria was wearing a tall, cylindrical fur toque -- which for his size was essentially an elongated pillbox hat -- and a matching cloak of sable with a pair of pompons hanging from the tie. He made no sound, as appropriate on a mission such as this. The same could not be said of his human companions, who tended to be a noisy bunch without even realizing it.
"It's so quiet," Aika whispered.
Alice added, "Maybe too quiet. Like... it's unnaturally still."
Aika shivered. "Scary remarks are forbidden." Then from behind them came the sound of a sudden crash. "Gaah what was that?"
Athena picked herself off the ground, and dusted off her dress. "Sorry, it's really dark, I didn't see that stone."
"Ara ara." Alicia waited a moment before commenting, "You know, this is still the same city you all know. It's just at late night Neo Venezia wears a different face. But to really know a person or a place, you need to see all sides of it. Good and bad, sweet and scary, and know that they are one and the same."
The party of undines turned onto one calle, and then onto another, as they journeyed closer to the edge of the city. Walking past red-roofed stone buildings, and across arched bridges, they never even got close to lost in the dim light. Each of them knew the waterways of the city like the back of their hands. But Akira had memorized every alley and campo of her city too, so it was she who lead them through Venetian streets at their most serene hour.
They pushed past the rail station, which was closed for the night, and pressed further outward. Finally, they arrived at the place where the train tracks entered the city, at the edge of the Ponte della Libertà.
"This is too late to be out." Alice Carroll yawned.
Athena replied with a sympathetic yawn.
Akari, on the other hand, had a gleeful grin. She was almost shaking with excitement.
"And... nothing's happening." Aika noted.
"I'm sure magical trains are very punctual, Aika." Alicia noted. "Let's just wait and find out."
They stood in the narrow street near the steel tracks, waiting for 3AM to arrive. The first thing they noticed was a dim light down the length of the bridge, and then the subtle sound of a train rolling across the tracks.
Suddenly, it seemed like the train was right on top of them. A steam locomotive rolled into the street, swiftly followed by a coal car and six wooden passenger cars.
Akari said, "Wow, this is a bigger train than last time!" Indeed, it barely fit in the street; perhaps this time was a special service? She shivered in anticipation.
Alice wondered where on Earth they had gotten the mineral coal for the coal car, because there sure wasn't any on Aqua. She had learned that much last Christmas, when she had put a lump of charcoal in her own stocking. "It's really the Galaxy Express," she concluded.
Suddenly, the empty street was filled with all manner of cats, queued up to ride the train. A burly conductor in a blue uniform, his face completely shaded by his railroad cap, began looking over everyone's tickets and admitting everyone on the train.
Alicia warned, "It looks like we had better get in line if we want a seat. I didn't know your Galaxy Express would be so popular."
Everyone had a ticket in mouth or hand this time, so the line to ride the train moved quickly. Akari proudly showed her ticket to the imposing conductor, gave a big grin to her friend, and jumped aboard. All the other humans moved aboard a little more gingerly -- something about the conductor didn't seem quite right, and he was quite large, so they decided they had better be polite.
What they found on board was just as otherwordly. For a train that could supposedly sail the stars, the decor looked positively antique, with wooden furniture and two-pane sliding windows on the walls. Its passenger cars had green upholstered bench seats on each side of the aisle, like something out of the golden age of rail travel.2
Moreover, it was a train full of cats: Persian and Martian, Mau and Manx. Some playful, some stretched out sleeping on the upholstery, some sitting pretty as they watched the odd humans in their midst. Others rubbing against each other in greeting. One even carried a sausage in its jaws, a late-night snack for the commute.
The undines were able to find a set of seats across from each other, so that everyone could see each other. Actually, a pair of gingers were already in one of the seats, but they simply hopped up to the luggage rack above and curled up there.
"You finally got to meet him!" Akari declared.
"Meet who?" Alice asked.
"Cait Sìth, of course!" Blank stares. "You know, the conductor."
"That was him?"
"He didn't look like a cat," Aika reasoned. "Actually, did he even have a face?"
"Don't worry, you'll see," Akari assured her friends. And then the train's engine started up again. The slow groan of the first few cranks of the wheels turned into a growl as the locomotive lurched to life.
The Galaxy Express proceeded out of its makeshift station backwards, with the locomotive pushing from behind -- Venice being a terminal station. It cruised along the Ponte della Libertà at a slow pace, before coming to a soft halt a couple kilometers out of the city.
Changing directions, the locomotive began pulling the train from the front. The train soon switched tracks in the middle of the bridge, turning off the side of the bridge onto an little-used set of tracks. The train dropped down to the waterline, and set off to the southwest. The Galaxy Express skimmed the surface of the lagoon, running on rails just below the surface of the water. A long cloud of spray thrown off the wheels glittered in the city light. And still the train accelerated.
Finally, as the train roared across the water at 88 miles per hour, Engine C6250 blew its whistle, and the train lurched into the sky.
"Ara ara ara!" said Alicia with delight.
The rest of the undines left it at that, for there were no words that could capture the experience better.
The train pulled onward and upward, rushing through the Aquatic sky. It rushed past the Kasei Lagoon and farmland of the Sacra Mensa, and rushed above the deep darkness of the trees of the Silva Arsia.
"Look, that's Noctis City!"
"So that must be Nieuw Amsterdam, right there." Aika pointed.
"I've never been so high before. Amazing."
"I landed on Aqua in the daytime," Akari said, "but the night is beautiful too."
And still the Galaxy Express climbed skyward, gaining speed. After a few more minutes, the disc of Aqua started to resolve below them, with a crescent of light off to the east. The train soared over 70 kilometers over Aqua, far above the stratosphere.
Alicia gazed out the window to the world below. "From up here, everything seems so small, doesn't it. Everything in our lives, it's all down there in those few lights."
"It's like we get to leave our whole world behind," said Akira, "just for a night."
"Like a beautiful dream." Athena's yawn fogged the window, as it was terribly late for her, but she was riveted nonetheless.
The train started rattling a bit, and then rolled quickly from side-to-side. Alice was nearly rocked off her seat, but Athena quickly pulled her back to her seat. The bulk of the feline passengers tossed from their seats landed on their feet -- the few exceptions fell over, but then put on an expression as if they had always intended to fall over.
Outside, it almost looked like the train had gone into a tunnel, as impossible as that would be. Then the scene through the windows radiated brilliant light, with streaks of reds, greens, blues, and oranges dancing around the train. The ride smoothed, and everyone inside stared at the spectacle, felines included.
"So many colors, so pretty!" Akari had been a fan of colors and shapes since she was an infant, but not many shows were as good as this one.
The train swerved left, then right, then left through the passage. After two minutes, the lights faded as quickly as they came, as the train exited the tunnel. No one was surprised at the jolt running through the train this time, as it exited back to normal space.
Out the window lay a planet, this one done up in the same whites and blues as Aqua. But a little less orange, and a little more yellow and green. Akari blurted, "Ohmigosh, it's Manhome! I thought I would never see her again."
"Your planet looks beautiful too, Akari." Alicia gave her an innocent smile.
"More beautiful that I remembered."
Had she remembered a little better, she might have noticed a few things were different on planet Earth, like the rather conspicuous absence of Lake Qattara.
The locomotive's engine slowed, letting the train start coasting down towards the planet below. The Galaxy Express veered west-by-northwest, crossing Asia Minor in just a few minutes and heading into the Balkans.
"Is that Italy?" Alice asked. "That's a boot, right?"
"Yes. And there's where old Venice used to be, before she sunk beneath the waves." Akira pointed towards the northern Adriatic, on Italy's east coast. From this altitude, it was impossible for the naked eye to see that she was pointing at Venice, very much not submerged.
They descended further and further into the twilight. Soon, they were afforded a view of the City of Lights just before the early morning washed out the lights below. And still they descended, crossing the English Channel and above the island of Britain. By this time, they could make out the outlines of roads and villages by the pattern the lights formed below.
"It looks like we're landing. Where are we landing, Akari?" Alicia asked.
"Um what was that place called again?"
"Oh come on, you're our Manhome expert." Aika chided. "What kind of tour guide are you?"
"Oh right!" Akari hit her fist against the seat. "It's called Wales. It's like part of England or something."
"Eh?" wondered Alice.
"Um... Further ahead, you can see the Atlantic Ocean. It's Manhome's second biggest ocean, and home to Neo Atlantis. It has the world's longest mountain chain, the Mid-Ocean Ridge, which you can't see because it's dark. And under water a really long way." Akari sighed. An undine was supposed to be unflappable in any situation, but this situation was maybe a little too far out.
"Brava, Akari." Alicia giggled.
The train dipped down towards a dimmer region of the Welsh countryside, in a rugged land with mountains and lakes below. Finally, the Galaxy Express veered a hard left, lining itself up with the train tracks below. It gingerly approached the ground. And then a series of clangs rang out throughout the train with small bumps to the passengers as it touched wheel to rail.
Having landed in a straight spot, the 999 acted as a normal train, leading them through the twists and turns of a 10 minute ride through the twilit countryside. Finally the train began to slow, and all of its passengers began to stir, even those who had been cat napping.
The train came to a stop at a simple rail platform, and almost immediately, the feline passengers began leaping for the ground. Clear black letters on a white sign declared the name of the village: "ULTHAR".
Beyond the short wooden covered walkway was a small station building, barely larger than a small cottage. The building of flat fieldstone was completely empty at this hour; the only staff on hand was the feline stationmaster, a tabby named Beatrice.
"Well, we've come all this way. Shall we go out and explore?" Akira asked.
"Sure!" Akari stood up, dusting the cat hair off her dress. "I've never been anywhere as far away as Wales before!"
Aika just gave her a strange look for that remark.
They joined the flow of cats jumping out the doors, but somehow ended up as the last passengers to exit anyway.
"What a cute village!" said Akari, looking down towards a collection of cottages on the banks of a lake.
"Hey, look at that." Alice pointed to a wooden sign cut into the shape of a cat, which read "Welcome to Ulthar, City of Cats".
"Wow, how cool," Alicia said. "No wonder we ended up here." They started walking up the platform towards the station house to explore the town. Then the steam engine came back to life, and everyone suddenly stopped.
"Wait, we can't get left behind!" Akari raced back to the train, followed by the rest of her friends. But the conductor stepped out, hand spread out to block her reboarding. "We still have our tickets," she cried.
The conductor shrugged, then removed his cap. Appearing underneath it was a large black cat face, with pink ears and golden slitted eyes.
"Cait Sìth!" Aika stopped in her tracks. The others did too, not sure how to react to such an august presence.
Akari pleaded, "We can't board? Did we break the rules?"
The large cat shook his head in the negative.
"Why can't we go home?"
Cait Sìth looked at Akari with a sad face. And then he scooped her up with his massive paws, and gave her a warm embrace.
"I understand. We can't go back, can we?"
"Can't go back?" Aika yelped.
"Will I see you again?"
Cait Sìth answered with a feline smile -- and then gave Akari a giant lick on her face.
"Nyuuuuu…" Aria was stunned.
The sound of the train whistle brought him to his senses again, by which time, Cait Sìth was already aboard the train. The steam engine started revving up.
"Good-bye! Until next time!" Akari waved vigorously. Alicia joined her with a regal wave, which caused Akira to wave goodbye as well.
They all stood there for a moment alongside the tracks, until Akari finally asked the obvious question. "So, what do we do now?"
"Alicia, your trainee got us stuck on another planet. Perhaps you need to review your teaching methods," Akira accused.
"Ara ara ara," replied a flustered Alicia.
"I got this. This is all totally a dream. All we need to do is wake up all at the same time," Aika explained. "Okay, wake up on the count of one, two, three!" Aika pinched herself and her neighbor.
"Ow, why did you pinch me!?" Alice grumbled.
"You looked like you need to wake up the most."
Athena yawned again.
"She's the one you needed to pinch!"
"Ok, one, two, three!" Aika pinched both Athena and Alice this time with a sly smile.
"Stop that!"
Beatrice walked over to the humans, and rubbed her body against Akari. This caused a bit of a stir below knee-level until Aria got acquainted with her.
The humans were getting hopelessly lost at her station lately, so she led them behind the train station towards the village. The tabby with a little blue cap stopped as soon as they all reached the main road.
"So... we just wait here?" Alicia asked Beatrice.
"Mew."
A minute later, they heard the low roar of a car engine approaching. A long black limousine pulled up to the station, and a tall Englishman with coal-black hair stepped out.
"I apologize for my tardiness, but traffic on the M25 was absolute Hell," he said with a sardonic smile. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Sebastian, butler to the Earl Phantomhive. Welcome to Earth."
"Earth?" Akira was incredulous, "It hasn't been called that since..."
"Ah, quite. I also welcome you to the year 2016." He took a minute to savor the women's shock, then continued. "Seeing as you all are so recently arrived, may I extend my lord's invitation and offer the hospitality of Phantomhive Manor?"
Sebastian cut quite a striking figure in his dapper suit and tie -- modern of course, as a proper suit with tails attracted too much attention in this day and age. Akari found him attractive to look at, but somehow, in a way she didn't understand, there was something repulsive about him too. He had only shown kindness, but she felt something nonetheless.
Sebastian in return assessed the party of six undines with his practiced grace, but raised an eyebrow at Akari, as if he had seen something interesting. "As of late, many people have been arriving as you have done, through space-time anomalies, and my lord is one of those empowered by the Crown to accomodate new Arrivals. I assure you, nothing will happen to you that will demean the honor of the Phantomhive name."
"You got beds?" Alice let out a long yawn, her tiredness finally winning the war against her excitement.
"But of course. Please, enter the limousine, and I will convey you all to the manor. The path which you must take has been prepared for you."
They all entered the back of the limousine: Alicia graciously, Athena ungracefully, Akari warily, Alice sleepily, with Aika and Akira both distracted by the hot guy. Sebastian revved the motor, and sped away.
Phantomhive Manor
Kent County, England
Sunday, September 11, 2016, 2:02 PM BST
Sebastian brought a tray of tea to this sextet of women with strange hair colors and odd dress-like uniforms. That description would cover a lot of the Arrivals he had been meeting lately, but for this time, it was fortunately the most unusual thing about the women in the drawing room. Well, that and the Mars thing, but a human is still a human. Their relative normalcy would make the next step much easier, so he had room to improvise.
Pouring a cup, he asked the freshly-rested undines, "I realize that you all are a very long way away from home, but do you have any idea where on Earth where you'd like to settle?"
Akari thought about her history, and realized that if it was the 21st century, it might still exist. "We want to go to Venice," she said in a matter of fact tone. "We are undines, the water is our life blood, the gondola, our second home. Venice is where our hearts will sing."
"Embarrassing remarks are forbidden", chided Aika.
"Ara ara ara." The tall blonde woman, Alicia, was impressed at her charge's speech. "Yes, I do believe that we would all flourish in the canals of Venice."
Akira added, "Right. Give a prima undine a gondola and she can make it for sure."
"I believe that can be arranged. Well, ladies, I thank you for bearing with all of my intrusive questions. I shall do my best to find appropriate accommodation for you all. I assure you, I will find you one Hell of a place to live."
"Don't mention it," Alicia said sweetly. "I appreciate all of your help."
After taking his leave, Sebastian called the real estate agent, and told them they needed another place, this time in Venice.
The agent immediately began looking for an apartment building near Venice, California. Sure, Snapchat was buying all of the real estate there now, but this Lord Phantomhive guy was loaded, so he thought he'd be able to find a decent building anyway.
Omake
"Sebastian, why do you wear that smile while we're stuck in this ghastly traffic?""Sorry, milord. I was just thinking about how of all of the Nazis' evil inventions, none is so insidious as the Autobahn. It lures you in with the promise of speed, but every morning and evening the motorway inflicts suffering on those mortals who travel. Every day, they pollute their own homes in an effort to live in a better neighborhood. Truly, it is exquisite."
"Are you quite finished?" Ciel huffed. "Hey! Get out of our way, commoner!"
"Ah yes, road rage. That's the best part!"
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto