[RFC] Being You is Deculture

[classicdrogn]

It’s Washu-chan!  The Multiverse’s Greatest (Mad) Genius!
(...)
I know this may seem like much, but

Usually I'd expect "like a lot" and probably "like a lot of effort for someone I haven't even met" or something along those lines here, though I don't think what you have is technically wrong.

I am Achika Masaki-Jyurai, third daughter of Crown Prince Yosho Masaki-Jyurai.
(...)
It’s made me very curious about meeting this little young lady who so suddenly set her sights on our Gar-kun.

You probably only need one or the other of "little" and "young," though again not technically wrong.

I’m Minagi, and... I have no idea of what to say!
(...)
I took time away from everyone so I cold properly mourn my father.  And more

could

I am Yume, and I have a request of you.
(...)
I only wish that my people would see fit to leave for at least a short time and see what the Universe has to offer.  But instead, I will have to settle for bringing my family to my home.

It occurs to me that Minmei's music is (quite canonically) well suited to reaching out to other species and getting them interested in the culture and happenings of the wider universe. Just sayin'.

I am Emperor Azusa I of the Living Wood Throne of the Empire of Jyurai.  I
(...)
opposed to my own house, and ergo that of Lord Grimm’s.  You may be subject to political intrigues of my court, or even outright physical attack.  I assure you, the former is quite rare, but it does happen upon occasion that our enemies feel they may

Preeetty sure you mean "the latter" here. Intrigue in the court of Jyurai is about as rare as trees among the landscaping

I am Funaho Masaki-Jyurai, your prospective mother-in-law, but it is my most
(...)
Oh, the stories I can tell!  Those were such heady days leading up to my husband’s ascension to the Throne.  But that will have to wait for another time.  I’ll save them

Have we actually been told the story of Azusa's marriages and ascension to the throne? It's mentioned a few times in fics and the small bits of canon I've seen, but while it sounds like it would make for a pretty nifty prequel series I don't know if it's ever been explored in detail.

Finally, she closed the distance and we kissed their in Katherine’s shade. 

there

It gave us a way to spend nights together whenever we wanted, but I suspected that those may be few and far between with what lay before Minmei.

suggest adding "for a while" in there, and/or "at least until she made the decision."

“You two are gonna love this!” said the dapper man in tweeds with his typical excitable energy.  “I pitched the film serial idea and the ate it all up!”

they

chain of command.  Given that this will drastically improve the citizen’s moral

morale

I gave him a wan smile of my own.  “It’s okay, Uncle Lynn.  After all, how much would I really love her if I tried to keep her to myself like that?  She is her own person, so she has this right.”

As they say, "If you love somebody, set them free. (o/~ Free free, Set them free o/~ ) If they don't come back to you, their heart wasn't yours in the first place."

  Full coffee cups were distributed and I permitted Captain Gloval to use his pipe properly, as he used only the finest pipe tobacco he could get his hands on. 

I suggest "he smoked only" here, to remove the repetition.

“Saints and heavens preserve us,” moaned Maistroff.  “We’ve been reduced to playing at matchmaking!”

Isn't Maistroff the intel guy? He of all of them should be used to the idea of a honey-trap, even it's basically the reverse of the usual situation here. If anyone, I'd expect Misa to be raising objections here, at least as a first reaction of an officer protecting her subordinates. Then she remembers the bit about the Bunnies making bunny-eyes at their spy trio, and realizes that it wouldn't take any more of a push than a typical "being a good freind and breaking the ice" situation to give it a fair shot. I would expect her to give the group a very stern eye while insisting that they're not going to get any kind of official word to that effect, though, and that there's not going to be even a hint of recrimination if the scheme doesn't take off.

Really, I need to know how well you guys think I nailed Minmei's reaction

Overall, it looks pretty good to me - she's gotten a big shock here, and it's clearly had an effect, but she's just as clearly working through it like the terrifyingly sharp little blade she's consistently been depicted as here rather than getting in a tizzy, and that's the important bit. She should probably be a little clingy with the Kyles while thinking about it, as her closest family present, since the prospect of leaving that behind is the most immediate effect of the new revelation. However big the idea of being part of a royal dynasty with real temporal power and the requirement of multiple other sister-wives may be as a concept, it's still just an abstract at this point, letters or no.