Thanks for putting this up, BA. I know I've been waiting eagerly, but oh! The lack of a decision from Minmei is an agonizing cliffhanger.
On the technical side, I noticed only a few things:
> I was wondering why you’re left arm
your
> We call them Prayer-Singers, and he hold them as equally important
we hold them
Also, the first time you use "prayer-singer", it's hyphenated. The second time it isn't. Which is the usage you want?
> a broken husk of a man, who’s only real desire
whose
> You may be subject to political intrigues of my court, or even outright physical attack. I assure you, the former is quite rare
Did you mean to suggest that the intrigue is less common than physical attack? If not, then you mean "latter" rather than "former".
On the technical side, I noticed only a few things:
> I was wondering why you’re left arm
your
> We call them Prayer-Singers, and he hold them as equally important
we hold them
Also, the first time you use "prayer-singer", it's hyphenated. The second time it isn't. Which is the usage you want?
> a broken husk of a man, who’s only real desire
whose
> You may be subject to political intrigues of my court, or even outright physical attack. I assure you, the former is quite rare
Did you mean to suggest that the intrigue is less common than physical attack? If not, then you mean "latter" rather than "former".
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....