[RFC] Being You is Deculture

[classicdrogn]

So Yuki looks like this?

“NO GUNS,” I called out, tossing my GU-16 aside. “NO MISSILES.” The few I carried were jettisoned, dropping to the deck. “JUST A GOOD OLD FASHIONED MUTHERFUCKING BEATDOWN!”

This sounds like you're just ASKING for trouble with that unexploded ordnance, even if it's not supposed to be armed when you drop them. Maybe switch the porder, so you can drop the missiles while stioll over the water, then toss the gun to the deck as you touch down?

Also, either Hikaru personally going or (since he's now in comand and has to keep his mind on the whole situation) a wingman or two should be immediately ordered to try to catch the wreck of Roy's valk, or at least dive after the cockpit - whether it sinks immediately or has enough bouyancy from trapped air to float for a few minutes, he's got a good chance of having survived even that since the nose section specifically did stay intact. (Your own plans for him aside, as the characters can only act on the knowledge they currently have, and VFs being rated for a few minutes of underwater operation is one of the things they most certainly should know.) Yes, it's mentioned he's been recovered right after the fight, but soldiers aren't prone to fucking around waiting for someone else to help when there's a man down.

Whole lotta "As you wish" going on in here. You know what they say those words actually mean...

I'm also not sure about the idea of moving all the artifacts people can pack up aboard - not because they can't be returned if it turns out to be unnecessary, but because it's opening up to a whole lot of risk of incidental damage or theft in transit or storage, filing errors seeing them misplaced, legal challenges to the ownership of some things retrieved in colonial periods or wartime since they're being moved anyway, etc. Reinforcing some old deep-shaft mines into bunkers and stashing them with the facility staff as caretakers seems a lot more reasonable, though I suppose bunker space is going to be at a premium for Earth's population and the supplies to feed them, while the ship is accepting a much more limited number of people. Still, I'd expect climate-regulated volume to be more precious aboard than on the planet, if only because there's vastly more volume to go around on earth and plenty of hands that'll be willing to work to dig and build if it means they or a loved one will get a reserved place later.

For that matter, are there any more Daedalus-class submersible assault ships around? Even if they can't go to deep, just being away from land and under enough water to hide them from sensors might keep them from being targeted in a bombardment, and even if not it's at least a better chance than being on the surface somewhere, fort hem and as many folks as they can keep supplied for whatever the expected duration required would be. With little things like "budgets" and "labor shortage" wiped away by an extinction-event inspired crash building program, at least a few of them might be gotten seaworthy if not combat capable from scratch, even if there aren't any more currently sailing or in progress.

“It is final contingency.

Typo, or Gloval's English slipping a little from distress? It was the only issue that really jumped out at me that way. If it is intentional, perhaps mention his usually slight accent also being more pronounced, as a sign that even his normally unflappable nature is getting tested.