Given my tastes, which web comics should I be reading?

[DHBirr]

A second vote for Phoebe and Her Unicorn.  I need to add the quibble, though, that unlike in Calvin and Hobbes, Marigold is unquestionably real.  Images where she makes weird faces ("Curse you for introducing a unicorn to the concept of selfies.") are particularly adorkable.  There're also lots and lots of ugly-cute goblins (everything they say sounds like slight variations on "Blaart"), and Phoebe's arch-frenemy Dakota.  Phoebe's dad, a systems administrator, is secretly cool (so he says).

Phoebe:  Dad, what was life like before the internet?
Ethan Howell:  I knew this day would come.  That one day, you would ask about the BEFORE TIMES.  It was a dark and brutal age, when typewriters roamed the land and IGNORANCE and BOREDOM reigned.  It was VERY DIFFICULT to waste time watching videos of cats.

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Considering that one dictionary definition of "carry on" is to "behave or speak in a foolish, excited, or improper manner," the designers of that famous poster, "Keep Calm and Carry On," need to make up their flippin' minds!